tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post7044021067805441136..comments2024-03-28T09:03:55.988-07:00Comments on Infertile Phoenix: Honoring My SadnessInfertile Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033358612204465661noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-78856223971466312632017-04-07T19:43:28.881-07:002017-04-07T19:43:28.881-07:00Thank you Klara! As you know, I'm two years ou...Thank you Klara! As you know, I'm two years out of IVF. It does get better with time, but it still hits me seemingly out of the blue every now and then. I'm proud of how far I've come and I know that it will only continue to get better. Thanks for showing me that. <3Infertile Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11033358612204465661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-6810167655211732112017-04-07T13:47:47.504-07:002017-04-07T13:47:47.504-07:00I love your wise kind -hearted best friend!
I agr...I love your wise kind -hearted best friend!<br /><br />I agree, grieving isn't a linear process. <br /><br />How many tears did I cry in situations like these. <br /><br />I am now 43, I stopped all IVF treatments 5 years ago. And I think I haven't cried for the last 4 years. <br /><br />sending you a warm hug across the Atlantic.Klarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-10957566776283010862017-04-07T07:35:47.616-07:002017-04-07T07:35:47.616-07:00I feel better after a good cry too. It's a hea...I feel better after a good cry too. It's a healthy release. I don't like being around pregnant women and, honestly, I avoid it at all costs. No one acknowledges or attempts to understand my reality, why am I expected to be present for others' realities? So now that my friend has brought the concept to my attention, honoring my sadness when it comes is very important to me.Infertile Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11033358612204465661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-7188796325280854382017-04-07T06:58:06.652-07:002017-04-07T06:58:06.652-07:00Honoring your sadness makes a lot of sense. I actu...Honoring your sadness makes a lot of sense. I actually find I'll feel a lot better after having a good cry and letting it all out. Having to put on a brave face all the time, especially around pregnant people takes energy! I know what you mean about losing the friendship. That's happened to us a few times too.dublinerinDeutschlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14804856792598440633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-52642049112588600752017-04-06T05:46:42.146-07:002017-04-06T05:46:42.146-07:00Yes, yes, yes to everything you wrote. As I said, ...Yes, yes, yes to everything you wrote. As I said, I am happy for my friend, but I am sad for myself. Sad that IVF didn't work for me but also sad that I have lost another friend to mommyhood. It's funny that you said "another one bites the dust" because that song by Queen is EXACTLY what started playing in my head when I saw my friend's pregnancy announcement. Hahahaha! Shores, if you are ever in the states please let me know and I will let you know if I'm ever in Ireland. I don't have any big trips planned yet, but we never know what the future holds! :)Infertile Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11033358612204465661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-46645861984459385552017-04-06T05:40:14.774-07:002017-04-06T05:40:14.774-07:00Powerful!! The concept that tears let us grieve, &...Powerful!! The concept that tears let us grieve, "allowing you to go on living in the world." Thank you very much Mali! <3Infertile Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11033358612204465661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-58332815266839330222017-04-06T03:06:21.704-07:002017-04-06T03:06:21.704-07:00Aw your best friend sounds lovely and wise. The an...Aw your best friend sounds lovely and wise. The announcements are hard. I'm 45 now so they have got much rarer, and I mind them much less now anyway, but the last one was about two years ago and I kind of cried. It was a friend that I had on my mental list of fellow childfrees - she was over forty, hadn't had a child and it comforted me to have this little list of "comrades" that were the same as me. For me it's all about the solidarity, the fact that, yes, we can be happy without having the last-minute baby. So I carried around this list of four or five friends who were in the same boat as me, but seemingly happy, and it made me feel much, much better. When I heard she was about to have a baby: I admit, I felt bitterly sad and kind of let down. It's like: another one bites the dust. I suppose the more people that you know who are childfree, the more normalised it is and the less alone you feel. I didn't feel upset out of envy, I wasn't thinking about the fact of having children, it was more like: Jesus, does EVERYONE have to do it?? The more friends you have that are like you, the more validated you feel, I suppose. I'm a bit out of touch with this friend and it might have been different if I saw her often, but I wasn't happy: I just felt, well now we have nothing in common. I realise that's just me and that I sound bitter, but that's how it was. <br />Anyway, you are completely right to honor your sadness. Lovely piece Phoenix. https://differentshoresblog.wordpress.com/https://www.blogger.com/profile/16936131757889957955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3354761566702250657.post-85850152572606428352017-04-05T20:50:51.460-07:002017-04-05T20:50:51.460-07:00We need to grieve when we need to grieve. You do n...We need to grieve when we need to grieve. You do need to honour your sadness, your losses. A stiff upper lip doesn't let you grieve, but tears do, allowing you to go on living in the world.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com