I've had three homes that I thought I would be in for a long, long time. When I got married, he already had a house and I was fine living there. Then we ended up buying a house for our future children that was closer to his job. I thought we'd be there for at least a decade. Then, when I bought my own little house in a small town, I thought I'd live there forever.
Obviously, I don't live in any of those places anymore, but I'm lucky that I had them. They all felt very happy and secure at the time. Then it was time to move on from each place.
And now I am in my current rental. When I first moved in, I daydreamed about loving the place, buying it, and never moving again. But as much as I like and appreciate my rental, I don't love it. Plus, it's not for sale. Plus, I probably couldn't afford it. So that's that.
I don't have a dining room table in the rental. I gave away the one we had before we moved. We used it for eating, and I used it for sewing. It was fine, but I didn't want any furniture from my former marriage anymore. It was one less thing to move. Then, when we moved here, I bought a new table. It was necessary. It's a work table though. For my sewing machine, not for eating.
My mom really wants me to have a dining table. She thinks it's important. But it's not important to me. (See the first sentence of this post.) She said something along the lines of, "You need a table. It's important to eat dinner together. It's where you talk about your day."
So I reminded her: "I'm not raising kids."
"Oh," she said.
I assured her that my boyfriend and I are well aware of each other's days.
She said, "Yeah, when it's just your dad and me, we eat in the tv room a lot." My mom's inability to see my life continues to surprise me. Part of me feels hurt; part of me understands.
And I do want a table. I'm just not buying or acquiring anything for this place.
Oh my.
ReplyDeleteI must say I'm impressed that a part of you understands why your mom would say such things. I would be mostly hurt even though I can also acknowledge that your mom probably meant well wanting a dining table for you.
Your home (be it a rental or not) has to work for the people living in it. Whatever makes a home a home for you counts. Maybe the sewing machine is more important ;-)?
Summery greetings from Switzerland <3
Yes, home is where the sewing machine is! And the cats. And my couch. And my slow cooker, haha. And me and my boyfriend.
DeleteThank you Elaine. You always get it. <3
I can understand why it is frustrating to buy things for temporary spaces. Who knows if it will fit where you land somewhere, sometime? I love that you were like, "yup, most important table is the sewing table." You are so kind to give your mom grace. Everybody's "must-haves" are different, whether you have kids or not. We eat at a dining room table almost every night, but that's just a habit at this point. We don't watch a lot of TV. And our couches are in the white family (a "we'll never have kids" thumbing of the nose purchase), so eating on them is dangerous. :) I love that you are like, this is what I want and what I need, and I don't need a table to check someone else's box.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I don't want to spend money on a table for here if I don't even know if it's going to be the table I want to have wherever I go next. Who wants to spend money needlessly these days? So dumb.
DeleteI love that you bought white furniture. I don't even buy white dress shirts for work, ha!
Thank you Jess. <3 <3 <3