I started a list on one of my white boards in my classroom. It says "30 Days of Gratitude" and I add something to it each day. (Well, I add three things to it on Monday to account for the weekend.) I'm trying to teach my students about cultivating gratitude, about how, no matter how bad things are, there is always something to be thankful for.
Of course, I know that it doesn't always feel that way. There were years where I was thankful for nothing. If pressed for an answer, I could've said I was thankful for my dog (may she rest in peace and playfulness), a roof over my head, and food in my pantry. I have never taken those things for granted. Same thing for electricity and indoor plumbing. But still... I recognize that, while deep in the black hole of grief, gratitude is not something that is easily found. Which is why I want to introduce my students to the concept of cultivating gratitude. They do not have easy lives. At all.
I am back in a state where I can function. I could mostly function for the past couple of years, but that was due to the massive economic and errand-related support from my husband at the time. Although my marriage didn't work out, I will always be grateful for his support during infertility and the acute phase of my recovery from it.
But now I am functioning really well. I work, I pay bills, I run errands, I do laundry, I enjoy my free time, and I even socialize a bit. I am so grateful.
I had to create this new life of mine. I had to devise and execute a completely new existence. But, in order to do all of that, I had to cultivate gratitude first. I had to realize what I did have and where I could go from there.
And I want to keep moving forward. I want to live a full life filled with love, laughter, and service.
I am so grateful.
I read once that when you make an effort to find things to be grateful for each day after awhile your brain starts doing it for your automatically and it helps you have a more positive outlook on things :)
ReplyDeleteYes! I would agree. I started a gratitude journal back in 2009 when I was going through a rough spot. I kept that journal for several years, writing in it from time to time. It really helped me create the habit of cultivating gratitude.
DeleteHi, I have enjoyed reading your blog for a while now and following your journey. I admire your gratitude and resilience, as well. Wondering if I might write you off-line about something. If so, please let me know where to write. My email is Kristinabridget at Hotmail.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristina, thank you for your comment! I sent you an email. Feel free to respond at your leisure. :)
DeleteI love this so much. Gratitude doesn't have to be not honoring the difficulties you face, but changing your lens and trying to find things that you can hang onto that remind you of what's good in your life. I'm so glad that you are feeling this gratitude for yourself and cultivating it with your students! Gratitude is such a small thing that can make such a big difference. :)
ReplyDeleteI like that: "changing your lens." That's exactly what cultivating gratitude does for me; it helps me shift my perspective. <3
DeleteOops - I thought I'd commented on this, but I must have been distracted! lol
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that someone who won the lottery couldn't get over the fact they were "unlucky" because they had to share it with someone else. Good grief! It shows that gratitude does need to be taught. I'm so glad you're doing this for your students.
I've written a lot about gratitude over the years. I remember those days after loss, when I would find moments of relief in gratitude for the warmth of the sun on my back, or for laughing at a sitcom, or for the sight of a bird in flight. It doesn't have to be something big, either. Gratitude is definitely one of my Gifts of Infertility. I'm glad you feel gratitude.
I love your Gifts of Infertility series!!
DeleteWhat? Someone complained about having to share a cash prize that they won? That they didn't even have to work for? Oh please... Just another example that goes to show that money can't buy happiness...
I love gratitude. Not to be redundant, but I am grateful for it! :)
I love this! Since I'm recovering from infertility, I'm also cultivating gratitude, and I'm grateful to be able to do so :-)
ReplyDelete