IVF Failure Mentioned in a News Story

This news story isn't about IVF failure, but failed treatments are mentioned in the first sentence.

This CNN article is about a couple that moves from the United States to Spain. Yes, their move happened after IVF failed and they reevaluated their lives. But really, the article is about the couple's cost of living being more affordable and their work-life balance being easier to maintain. 

It's another example of how moving can change the quality of one's life. 

But then the end of the article touches on involuntary childlessness:

"While the couple still sometimes struggle with the prospect of not having children, Luban, now 53, says they feel 'too old now,' adding that while they previously looked into adoption, 'the process seemed to be a nightmare, financially and otherwise.' 

'And it was such an emotionally (and financially) painful experience to try and fail, we couldn't go through it again,' he adds, stressing that they have 'no regrets.'"

*****

And now I want to take a trip to Spain...

(Picture from a hotel's blog post about the best tapas bars and restaurants in Ronda)

A Thought-Provoking Purse

I like to window shop online. I can build a big shopping cart and then order nothing. Or whittle it down and order an affordable amount. Usually, I'm looking at fabric. Lately, I've been looking at winter clothes because I want warmer pants for this winter. Then I came across this bag. I love it. It's so cute. I've decided not to buy it because everything comes down to, "Do I want to buy this or save my money for shopping while I'm on my trip?" Plus, it's a little expensive, haha.

(Purse found at https://loungefly.com/exclusive---disney-stitch-shoppe-classic-disney-books-crossbody-bag/WDSSTB0025.html)

But let's think about this purse from the CNBC perspective. Well, quite honestly, that's pretty much how I look at everything because that's the perspective I have in life. I have other perspectives too, but the CNBC lens is always at the forefront. It turns out that not raising the children you thought you'd raise your whole life has a tremendous impact on, well, everything.

So, the purse.

Does anything about it stand out to you?

My first thought was "I love books!" Then "What a cute purse!" Then "Can I justify buying that by using it as a project bag?" And then "Wow, that's a lot of messed up story lines!"

Dumbo touches on infertility. I haven't seen it in a long time, but at the beginning of the movie, a lot of storks come and deliver babies to the circus animals. Except Dumbo's mom is left out.
(At first. Later, a stork delivers Dumbo to her.)

Pinocchio doesn't have a mom.

Bambi's mother dies.

Peter Pan ran away from his family, then expects Wendy to take care of him and the Lost Boys.

And then, is there any mention of parents in Alice in Wonderland? Isn't she on her own journey?

Do other people think like this? Do they see a purse while window shopping online and immediately think of all the associated family-related narratives? Just me? Just us? Oh...

I'm not getting the purse. I like it, but I don't need it.

But I'm still thinking about it.

More IVF Failure in the News

It was only visibly posted for one day, so I'm glad I caught this article. I was sad to read it but grateful it made the news for at least a day. I was expecting a pregnancy announcement at the end, but there wasn't one. 

Tara Lipinksi, ice skating phenom and 1998 Olympic Champion, is currently CNBC. In the article, she talked about her struggles with infertility and multiple miscarriages. She used the one word that came up in every interview I did for my research about involuntary childlessness after infertility: isolating. She bravely shared what she's been going through for the last five years, and she didn't wait until she had a baby to do so. 

She said she wasn't emotionally or mentally able to talk about it publicly until now. 

She described infertility as a full-time job that your entire life revolves around.

She said infertility is much more difficult than the Olympics.

In addition to this article, she has a podcast coming out at the end of this month about her experiences with infertility. It's called Tara Lipinski: Unexpecting.

Thank you, Tara. I know you are helping a lot of women out there feel less alone. 

Tracee Ellis Ross

I never watched a lot of tv until I started teaching. That first year of teaching (and all of the years that followed) was... EXHAUSTING! I would come home from the day, sit on the couch (because I was barely able to move), and watch two episodes of Girlfriends. It became my ritual.

A couple of weeks ago, I read this interview with Tracee Ellis Ross and I loved it. It's short, but there's a lot of good stuff in there. I especially appreciate her thoughts on not being married and not having children and what that means and feels like in our society.

I just love her. She seems so cool and confident and approachable and fun. I am totally aware that I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but she has such a great friend vibe. I just imagine she's kind to everyone she meets. It's been nice "knowing" her these last twenty years. 

More IVF Failure in the News

I think momentum is building. I think more people are talking about the high failure rate of IVF.

Women have been blogging for over a decade. (Thank you to them!!!) There is more than one book published that talks about living childless not by choice. And now the news...

Last year MSNBC published this article. And we all read the Allure interview with Jennifer Aniston a couple of weeks ago. Then yesterday CNN published this article.

Not to mention, I've been digging into the research as I write my project proposal... Ten years ago? There were a couple of articles across the globe and disciplines addressing involuntary childlessness. Within the last two years? I found over twenty articles across the globe and disciplines during a four-hour deep dive on Friday night. (Yes, I am wild. I've gone from partying to researching on my weekends, both equally fun for me hahaha.)

It's happening. Information and perspectives about living CNBC are getting out there. Momentum is building. People are learning. Very, very slowly... But surely nonetheless.

(Image found at 

https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/14-ideas-to-grow-brand-awareness-at-lightning-speed)

One of Us: Phoenix Rising

I read the news yesterday and IMMEDIATELY texted my boyfriend.

"IVF failed for Jennifer Aniston. 1st time she's ever said it."

The news resonated across our CNBC community.
Pamela wrote about it here. Loribeth wrote about it here.

Jennifer Aniston, this woman that I've watched on tv and in movies for decades, owes us NOTHING. She didn't have to share her painful truth. She didn't have to tell us that IVF didn't work for her. She never had to address the topic ever in any way at all. But she did.

Thank you, Jenn. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

You added our story to the mainstream narrative of infertility:
our story that DOESN'T end with a baby.

My sisters read People magazine religiously. They may not feel my pain, but they will feel Jennifer Aniston's. This celebrity that I do not know gave me the gift of humanity. She validated our story.

"Phoenix Rising" indeed!!!

Infertility in Pop Culture

Did you know Norm on Cheers is infertile?

(Er, was infertile? I'm not sure what verb tense to use with a tv show character...)

I'm currently rewatching the entire show, beginning with the first episode, and, WHAT DID HE JUST SAY, there it is in the middle of season one.

Coach asked Norm why he and Vera didn't ever have any kids. Norm said, "I can't." And then in typical Norm fashion he made a joke out of it by saying, "I look at Vera. I just can't." But I know the kind of humor that can underscore infertility. And I was elated to learn that infertility was mentioned back in 1983 on one of my favorite tv shows.

It got me thinking...
What other cultural references are there to infertility in tv shows, books, movies, etc.?

The first reference I learned about was The Flintstones. Barney and Betty Rubble were unable to conceive children which led to the adoption of their son, Bamm-Bamm.

The next reference I learned about was Dr. Suess. He and his first wife were unable to have children and so they invented a daughter named Chrysanthemum Pearl, about whom they made up wild stories. (Have fun going down an internet rabbit hole with that one!)

What about you? Where have you heard infertility referenced in pop culture? I'd love to expand my knowledge on this topic.