I had a small experience yesterday that reminded me of how much I've changed.
I went online to reserve a moving truck for later this week. I was hoping to move on Wednesday or Thursday, but I quickly learned that wouldn't be possible. Oh... I mean, I thought I might be cutting it close trying to rent a truck at the last minute, but it turns out... I was right. There were no available trucks near me all week.
So I reserved a truck for the first day available. For two weeks from now.
Big sigh...
I thought...
What in the world am I going to do while I wait here for two weeks...
I started going through a mental list of what still needs to be packed and where I am in my various quilting projects... I was also telling myself to take a break and just take it one day at a time. There are plenty of things I can do on my To Do list. Or not. :)
And then it hit me. Two weeks! I remember years of my life being dominated by the Two Week Wait and I had honestly completely forgotten about that whole entire concept (TWW) and all the millions of other TTC-related acronyms.
I had totally forgotten.
I loved it. It made me smile. A concept/time period that used to always be on my mind has totally slipped from familiarity for me. It made me happy to realize that my thinking has naturally changed over time. I no longer feel controlled by a two week wait. I no longer even think about it.
I decided to give myself a break. I'll be productive or not. I'll get bored or I won't. The fact of the matter is I'm not moving for two more weeks. I have to wait for an available truck. For two more weeks I will stay safe and stay here. For two more weeks I will wait.
But I can do that.
I did that for years.
But now it's so much better.
I love this! It is so great when we realise that we've either/or a) gained increased resilience in our lives as a result of our infertility (eg, 2 week wait - no problem!), and/or b) find something would have bothered us and made us obsess previously, and now we struggle even to notice it. Both of which you've done here. Cool!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things I used to think about all of the time. It was necessary then. It's what I had to do to survive that time period. And after enduring everything I did, I definitely increased my resilience.
DeleteBut now... To have forgotten about things like the "two week wait"... It's amazing. It's awesome. I'm endlessly thankful that I could move away from all of that. I didn't think it was possible.
That's awesome! Congratulations on a two week wait that has nothing to do with fertility, and that didn't even trigger that memory! What a wonderful milestone. Enjoy your quilting and getting more packing done (one sounds way more enjoyable than the other, ha).
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's so amazing when something that used to be fertility-related no longer triggers a fertility-related memory! At least, not initially... :)
DeleteI packed and cleaned all weekend. It was very boring but now it's done. Well, I'm not finished by any means but what's done is done and I don't have to do it again. Oh man, I hate moving... Oh well, onward! With gratitude :)
Sounds like a much better two-week wait to me! -- And by my calculations, it should be over by now! Hope you are settling nicely into your new home!
ReplyDelete