Once again, Dolly Parton leads the way with her wisdom!
This article says she is taking a break from writing new music to grieve.
Very, very wise.
As Mali has recently written, now is not the time for accomplishments.
Our society sucks at grief. Our society sucks at obvious grief, such as losing a partner or a child, and our society really sucks at disenfranchised grief, where the grieving may not be so obvious.
Take time to grieve.
Quit things, start new things, do nothing. Cry, yell, sit in silence. Journal, go for walks, hang out with a trusted friend. Do whatever it is you need to do when you experience loss. Feel it. Move through it. Let yourself grieve.
Who cares what other people think.
Their thoughts and perceptions are probably not even accurate! They come from their own perspective and experiences. They are living their life, not yours. Other people do not understand. That does not invalidate your experience or what you need to do.
Once again, Tom Petty said it better than I ever could.
So true. Our society really does suck at grief. Everything is about "getting over it" or grieving in "the right way," whatever that is. Grief has its own timeline. Sage advice -- screw anyone else, we must do what feels right to us as we grieve. And man, I feel so sad for Dolly Parton, she and her husband had a great love.
ReplyDeleteThe idea that grief ends is very misleading. Grief changes, but parts of it may never end. You don't "get over it." You get through it, again and again.
DeleteI love this. A friend has just had a horrible diagnosis too (enough, already, argh!), and it might help her to see your words. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYour friend is allowed to be sad. She's allowed to be mad. She's allowed to feel numb or confused or scared or whatever she is feeling. She can do something or nothing or whatever she wants. Sometimes in life the game totally changes. After that, we don't have to play by the same rules anymore.
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