Weird Worrying

My cycle was late this month. I was expecting it Saturday or Sunday. Monday at the latest. I started on Wednesday. I mean, I take the pill so it's weird for it to be late.

Um, a quick note on that. I have mixed feelings about taking the pill. I mean, why? I'm infertile. But I got back on it when I was grieving deeply. I couldn't handle getting my period every month so I went back on the pill so I'd at least know when it was coming. So I could be somewhat mentally prepared. 

I don't need it for that anymore. Getting my period doesn't make me sad anymore. Plus, I'm older and my body is changing naturally and I really don't think I need it. Anyway, I'll figure it out. I need to find a new doctor here and establish care anyway.

But starting my cycle doesn't make me sad anymore. In fact, I learned this week that NOT starting my cycle makes me sad.

It was WEIRD. I was so worried. And annoyed. Very, very annoyed. I spent years wanting to get pregnant and now I'm worried/mad/sad that I might be? It was weird.

But, like I said, I'm older and my body is changing and I'll find a new doctor and talk about things.

But I'm feeling MUCH better today and yesterday. 

Relieved.