Um, a quick note on that. I have mixed feelings about taking the pill. I mean, why? I'm infertile. But I got back on it when I was grieving deeply. I couldn't handle getting my period every month so I went back on the pill so I'd at least know when it was coming. So I could be somewhat mentally prepared.
I don't need it for that anymore. Getting my period doesn't make me sad anymore. Plus, I'm older and my body is changing naturally and I really don't think I need it. Anyway, I'll figure it out. I need to find a new doctor here and establish care anyway.
But starting my cycle doesn't make me sad anymore. In fact, I learned this week that NOT starting my cycle makes me sad.
It was WEIRD. I was so worried. And annoyed. Very, very annoyed. I spent years wanting to get pregnant and now I'm worried/mad/sad that I might be? It was weird.
But, like I said, I'm older and my body is changing and I'll find a new doctor and talk about things.
But I'm feeling MUCH better today and yesterday.
Relieved.
Oh, ouch. That makes total sense that a late cycle would make you sad. It was radical and for other reasons too, but the best part of having a hysterectomy was no longer having any ambiguity whatsoever. The worst part is having no idea where I am in perimenopause, ha. I hope you find a new doctor who is perimenopause-literate and truly listens.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm hoping for too! I want to find a very knowledgeable doctor.
DeleteAnd yeah, that was a weird experience. Very dumb.
I recognise these emotions very well! Going through peri-m and menopause made me feel normal. That surprised me. And I remember being horrified at the thought of being pregnant in my late 40s with a very late period, and resented even having to take a pregnancy test! lol
ReplyDeleteI hope you find a good doctor. One who is also prepared to consider HRT if you need it. I credit it for both saving my marriage and/or sanity (probably both), and now, everything I read tells me it is keeping me, my bones, my brain etc healthier!
Thank you, Mali. <3
DeleteOh, I get this, Phoenix! I don't think it is weird. In fact, from my own experience I totally understand the worry.
ReplyDeleteMy cycle has been different of late, too. I have friends my age who are very much in peri-menopause with completely irregular cycles. My younger sister is on HRT already. And I also have a CNBC friend who is in menopause now but had quite a scare before she crossed that line. So you are not alone <3.
Like Mali, I hope you will find a good doctor.
Much love from Switzerland!
Thank you, Elaine. <3 I've got an appointment scheduled with a new doctor, so here's hoping for the best!
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