Saturday, April 15, 2017

Stupid IVF

I wish everyone who wanted to get pregnant and have a baby could get pregnant and have a baby.

Just two weeks ago I learned about a friend who was pregnant from IVF. I was sad for myself but happy for her.

Today I found out a different friend was not pregnant from IVF. I was sad for myself and sad for her. She has many more embryos left in storage, so she is staying on the fertility treatment roller coaster for now. I hope it works out for her. I hope it doesn't all come at too high of a cost. And anyone who has tried fertility treatments knows the cost isn't just financial.

I hate IVF. I'm glad it works for some people, but I wish it worked for everyone. I wish we were told that it actually doesn't work over 70% of the time. This is such a rarely known fact.

I'm glad I made the decision to move on. The waiting and hoping and the devastation and trauma of trying to conceive was too much for me. I'm sad that I'm not a mom and not raising a child, but I'm glad I am creating a new life for myself.


  1. It does annoy me that people don't know the stats about IVF. A friend of mine with kids read something I'd written and misunderstood the figures and said "Wow, only 70% of people succeed at IVF?". Jeez, if only it was that way round. Shows how little people know about it, if they don't have to know about it.

    1. Exactly. I've had so many people say to me, "Well, why don't you just do IVF?" as if it is as easy as going to the store and is always guaranteed to work. It's hard to explain to people all that's involved with IVF so I don't even try.

  2. People are pretty shocked by the statistics. And the 30% success/70% failure rate is an overall average. The odds of success might be a bit better if you're younger, but the odds of failure increase the older you get. It's a heck of a lot higher than 70% if you're 40 or 45.

  3. I agree. So many people seem to assume IVF is a sure thing. In fact I used to be one of them! I thought that if I had trouble getting pregnant there would always be IVF as a back up plan. I never realised just how awful it is going through it and then having it not work. I also wish that everyone dealing with infertility would be able to have a child. I'm glad that you are finding ways to move forward and finding a new life for yourself now.