I woke up this morning and I already knew I needed a break. I could just feel it. I am just so tired of fertile people going on about their lives, making the comments that they make and doing the annoying things that they do.
I was eating breakfast and checked social media and the first thing I see is my aunt posting about her newest grandchild being born. I didn't even know one of my cousin's wife's was pregnant. I don't even know who had the baby. I quickly unfollowed my aunt so I won't have to scroll through any more newborn pics than I'd already seen.
Then I go to school where one professor talks, I swear to God, for an hour about her kids and her parenting style. No, it wasn't on topic for the day's lecture. Oh my god. Can't I just get a break?? This is the same professor who was supposed to email us something last night but told us it was one of her kid's birthdays that day and so she probably wouldn't have time. Oh really? So if I'm celebrating my anniversary with my husband or my dog's birthday or something else that is important to me, let me guess, I won't have the option of turning something in late, will I?
Because the only thing anyone seems to freaking care about is whether or not you have children!
Right now I am mad and sad and frustrated. There are several contributing factors, most of them school-related because the program I'm in is chaotic and unorganized and they treat the students extremely poorly, but this is, to use the cliche, the straw that broke the camel's back.
I am so completely sick of fertile people. For being so exclusive in conversations. For expecting so much emotional labor from me. For holding me responsible for helping them when there was no one around to help me when I was deeply depressed from infertility. I am really sick of the double standards and I just need to vent!
I really need to meet some people like me in real life.