My husband and I ran into an old friend of his today. I recognized him first, pointed him out, and said that we should go say hello. So we did. They became friends in college when they worked at the same place and always stayed in touch. He's a great guy- really fun and friendly, and I love his wife.
But we hadn't seen them in almost a year, not since they shared their pregnancy news with us. We were happy for them and congratulated them. They knew we tried for years and stopped trying. The road to pregnancy was not at all easy for them either.
I don't know if they had any expectations for us, but my husband and I just kind of stepped out of the picture. We live an hour apart. They have a million friends and lots of family, and I knew our lives were going in different directions. I was invited to the baby shower but declined. If I had kids or was going to have kids, I would've loved to have continued cultivating this friendship. But I don't and I'm not so I just did what was best for me.
Anyway, I haven't talked to my husband about it, but I thought it was a little awkward. But it was nice. I'm glad we ran into him. After we saw each other and said our hellos and we were just standing there I said, "So, do you have any pics?" My husband's friend immediately beamed and said, "Do I have any pics? Hahaha." He got out his phone and scrolled through about 20 pictures of their new baby wearing adorable holiday outfits. (I didn't want to admit that I didn't know the kid's name, but you can get away with saying "How cute" and "What a perfect baby" without the new parent catching on.)
The friend was with two of his friends that we'd met before, all three of them fathers to little ones. Like I said, it was a little awkward. But everyone kept the casual conversation going for about ten minutes. As we parted ways, I asked him to tell his wife hello for me which he assured me he would.
I don't know... It was brief. It was unexpected. It was good to see him. But it was a little awkward.
I'm sorry it was awkward. I suspect after a year break, it might have been awkward anyway. I kinda hope that he realised it was awkward - and that maybe he felt a bit guilty for not being in touch with you guys too?
ReplyDeleteHuge kudos to you for breaking the ice with the pictures.
Thank you! I was proud of myself for that one. A small victory- genuinely asking to see baby pictures :)
DeleteUpdate: I asked my husband this morning if he thought it was a little awkward with his friend. He said no. I asked, "Not even a little bit?" and he still said no. So maybe it was just me :)
ReplyDeleteI can see how that would feel awkward (and I am always reading into situations with more stuff than was actually there, too). I find it awkward when there's realizations that time marches on and so many other people have marched on with children. Great job with the baby photos (and great save on forgetting the name, brilliant!).
ReplyDeleteHahaha I kind of panicked for a second when I forgot the kid's name. Then I realized I didn't have to remember, that I could play it off.
DeleteHonestly, despite my update, I'm going to go ahead and say it was a little bit awkward. Maybe my husband didn't notice, maybe his friend did or didn't, but I noticed.
I think I know how you mean about that awkwardness you can't quite put your finger on .... I'm generally ok when baby/children chat erupts around me and I do sometimes ask to see people's kid photos if I like the person, but I still feel awkward when there are a few people involved in the conversation. There's just something. I wonder if it'll always be that way.
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly. It's the kind of awkwardness that you can't quite put your finger on... I just now remembered feeling the same way when I randomly ran into an old friend, her husband, and their new baby a couple months ago. I'm usually genuinely happy to run into old friends who've had babies, but there always seems to be something there, something unspoken but hanging in the air.
DeleteSo true - I don't know if it's something in my head that only I feel, or a real 'vibe' that other people feel...
ReplyDelete