Monday, August 20, 2018

Beautiful Life

This blog has been an incredible space where I could process my feelings after loss and trauma while connecting with other women who understood. Healing is not linear, but I have made large strides in my recovery from infertility. This is a space where I could admit my ugly and embarrassing thoughts, my hurt feelings, my struggles, my new dreams, and everything in between. Without the support of other infertility writers (books, blogs, videos, etc.), I would not be where I am today: content, grateful, and excited about the rest of my life. Thank you.

I am going to take a break from writing for a bit. I'm still going to read and comment, but I've got several things that are marinating in my brain right now and I want to let them simmer for awhile.

I want to leave you with a very unexpected interaction I had a couple of weeks ago.

A co-worker and I got on the elevator together. It's the end of the day for me, but she still has a couple of more hours of work to do. She asked, "Are you going home?" And I said, "Yes. Going home. Well, not a house-home, but an apartment." She said, "Oh I remember those days, having my own apartment. They were so fun." Realizing that she probably thought I was around 25 years old I explained a little, "Oh I love the new apartment. We used to have a house, but we sold it." She asked, "We?" And I said, "I'm married." Then she got very excited. "You're married?? I had no idea!" And then... Wait for it... She immediately followed it with, "Do you have kids?" I simply answered, "No," and thought that would be the end of that. But she continued, completely without prompting, "Oh I don't have kids either. Not after six years of infertility. But my life has turned out beautifully. Beautifully!" And then the elevator door opened and she walked out saying, "Have a great rest of your day!"

Pause. Pause.

What. Just. Happened.
I thought to myself.


She has no idea about my life... She just shared her joy about hers. Incredible.

I loved it. That moment meant a lot to me and I was looking forward to sharing it with you. 💜


  1. Oh Phoenix, what a beautiful story <3. It made me cry. Thanks for sharing!
    Take all the time you need and, most of all, take good care of yourself.

  2. I just got chills! What a beautiful, affirming interaction. Thank you so much for sharing it with us, those moments don't come around all the time but it inspired me to be that lady in the elevator, telling people how beautiful my children life is. Love it! I will miss hearing from you when you take your break, but I hope that you continue having these moments to balance out the hard ones.

  3. How I love your co-worker! And I just love love the adverb beautifully!

    Have a nice rest from writing. I am on a rest too :)

  4. Dear Phoenix, I wish you a very nice and fruitful break! And I'm happy to read that blogging has been such a great help to you. Thanks to you too for writing, I love reading your blog.
    The story with your co-worker shows that there are much more of us out there than we think... and also that with the help of time our lives too can be beautiful :) Thank you for sharing this story!

  5. What a perfect moment! I love that.

    And sometimes, we need to just take a break and think. I hope it gives you time to breathe. And to smile.

  6. What a great story! May we all have such encounters, and may we all be able to respond like that woman did when the subject comes up! :)

    I hope you will be back blogging soon, because I'm going to miss hearing from you...! But I hope you have a good break! <3 We all need them now & then!