I had a bad week.
Every day there was something Very Not Fun.
I chipped my tooth last week and went to the dentist on Monday to get it filled.
On Tuesday I had my annual mammogram. It's not painful, just everything makes me emotional.
(Upsides: Yay for following through with preventative care. Plus, it was negative!)
I went to work on Wednesday and had an extremely awkward day. I don't foresee things getting any better any time soon. I'm so frustrated. But I've been through worse and I'll get through this.
I had a colposcopy on Thursday. (You know your job is bad when you look forward to a gynecological procedure. I took two days off from work. I needed the medical respite, but it was also a much needed break from the work drama!)
On Friday I felt like crap. So sore, so cranky, so over it. What has my (non)reproductive system ever done for me?? (Answer: nothing good.) Fortunately, I was able to spend the entire day on the couch. I rested, watched tv, and finished sewing the binding on my nephew's quilt.
Now it is Saturday. My favorite day of the week. A day to do what I feel like. I did a little bit of sewing, a little bit of picking up, and my boyfriend and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. Then he cooked some food while I just tried to RELAX.
I am very stressed. I feel it physiologically; I feel it emotionally. I am so sick and tired of living in a heightened state. I lived like that for many years while trying to conceive and then while going through fertility treatments. Then grad school, divorce, and moving a bunch sucked a whole lot. Then the pandemic hit.
It doesn't take much to make me feel anxious. Who can blame me? It was a shitty decade for me. And now life is harder for everyone. It's so easy for my anxiety to shoot up. Then it's so hard for me to come down.
I recognize it. I feel it. I give myself grace. I mean, damn, I didn't create any of the chaos that is currently around me (at work and also in the world). I cry a lot. I sleep. I sew. I read. I write.
And I bought myself this card. Then I bought a frame for it at the thrift store and got a little crafty.
Keep on enjoying the little things.