It's so important to be ourselves. I hope you have a place where you don't have to explain yourself or a person with whom you don't have to censor yourself. It's relieving. And necessary.
A couple of weekends ago we went and visited my boyfriend's family for the first time since the pandemic. We had seen his parents once but not his sisters. It was relieving. And necessary.
We drove to the city to see everyone and stayed the night with one of his sisters. We saw her toddler for the first time in two years and met her new(ish) baby. She and her husband had just finished having some major remodeling work done on their house. It was the first time I saw it all: their new guest room, guest bathroom, kitchenette, and bonus living room/play room area. I was immediately in love. Like, I really felt emotional about it. I loved it so much.
I turned to his sister and exclaimed, "I love it! The space is perfect. I love the play area. And all of these bookshelves remind me of my nursery. I can't wait to watch these shelves fill with books."
I said all of that without a second thought. And she didn't miss a beat. She was excited too. She said something along the lines of, Really? You think so? I'm so glad you like it. I'm really happy with how it turned out.
I didn't feel awkward and she didn't act weird about me referencing my (never-used) nursery.
It's awesome to have places and/or people in our life where it feels safe and comfortable to speak freely. Infertility isn't all of my life. For a time period, it felt like it was. But not anymore, not for awhile. It's just a part of me now. And I'm glad I have friends where I can talk about my real life experiences and feelings without it being totally weird.