A Newborn Picture that Didn't Hurt

I'm so glad it gets better. I really had no idea how I was going to live the rest of my life with the amount of pain and the weight of devastation that I was carrying. 

In my last post I wrote about my best friends from high school (and their kids). I had to take some space from these friendships for several years. It really, really hurt. All of it. Infertility, feeling stuck in limbo, watching my friends' lives go on, missing my friends. All of it hurt. Badly. Deeply.

I couldn't even handle pictures.
And I don't fault myself for that. 

But a couple of weeks ago, I texted a very friendly woman from the quilt guild because I didn't see her at the last meeting and wanted to check in with her. 

She immediately texted me back a picture.
Of a newborn.
And it didn't even annoy me. 

The newborn was wrapped in the cutest quilt, and I know that's why my friend sent me the picture. She had made the quilt for her new family member, a nephew's kid or a cousin or something. I don't know. I don't know these people. But I loved the quilt. Haha. 

The moment really stood out to me.

I have CRIED over pictures of newborns. Many, many tears shed over many different pictures.

But now... It's just different. 

It's okay that it was painful before.
It's okay that it is not painful now.

Time makes a difference. As does gaining experience. And perspective.

Learning others' stories helps too. Like, my quilting friend. We are still new friends and don't know each other well, but I do know she lost a high school-aged daughter in a tragic car wreck.

We have all been through so much.

And now I can find joy in a picture of a lovingly made quilt wrapped around a newborn.

Miraculous.