I got to celebrate the holidays with my family this past weekend. It was good, and I am grateful. There weren't any surprise pregnancy announcements, although it wouldn't have bothered me if there were. I am not in that space anymore. If a family member announced a pregnancy, I would be happy for them and not sad for myself. I used to be. But not anymore. Both are fine. Both spaces are understandable places to be.
So I am where I am now. I enjoyed seeing my cousin's kids (who are the same age my kids would've been). They are growing up, and they are genuinely nice kids. One kid looks just like my cousin and the other kid looks just like my cousin's wife. Genetics are cool like that. I find it fascinating. Now that it doesn't completely depress me.
I got to see my niece for the first time in four years. It's crazy that it was that long! Stupid pandemic. Stupid work schedules before that. She's happy and working and doing her thing. It was so great to see her and spend time with her.
I got to see my nephew too. But thankfully, I got to see him last year. He is also happy and working and doing his thing.
The three of us live spread out across the country, so I will never take our time together for granted. They're both in their late twenties now. My sisters are older and each had their kid younger, so I got to be an aunt when I was a teenager. I love my niece and nephew so much. And we're all getting old! Hahaha.
Traveling isn't my favorite. I make exceptions of course, or I would never see my family. I also hope to see my best friend from college sometime this year, visit my old city next year, and travel to Europe and New Zealand in the future.
So I packed my things, left my house, and traveled to a big city where one of my sisters lives. I masked in the airport, on the plane, and in indoor public spaces even if not many other people did. But I got to see my family last weekend, and I am so, so glad I did. At one point, my dad was watching sports and my mom and I were reading books in our recliners, and I felt like a kid again.
Seeing family, wherever they are, can be like going home.
But I'm a country mouse now, haha.
So I had a great visit...
And then I went back home.
💜
I'm so glad you got to spend time with your niece and nephew and cousins' kids.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a lovely and important post. I hope people who are struggling with this time of year find it, and gain awareness and hope that they too will reach this stage. I think it comes to us all, even though many of us didn't believe it possible. Brava!
Also, this might be a favourite post because you mentioned coming to New Zealand sometime in the future. Yay!
Just five years ago I skipped the family gathering altogether! I thought it would be impossible to do that (it wasn't), and I thought it was impossible that it would never hurt to celebrate with everyone again (it wasn't). So much to be grateful for!!
DeleteI also found a bunch of pictures when I moved out of storage that I brought to share. They were from our holidays for the past ten years plus several pictures that were from the 90s and early 2000s. They were fun for everyone to look at.
And yes, New Zealand! I always wanted to visit there, but now I really do because I have a friend. I basically want to tour the world meeting other bloggers. :)
Phoenix, I am so glad it went well :-). We don't take that for granted anymore, do we? To feel like you did as a kid back home is a lovely thing! Merry Christmas <3
ReplyDeleteNo, we definitely don't take everyone being able to get together anymore! Not after infertility or the pandemic or the realities of working and aging... The large family gathering may have been short, but I appreciate everyone making the time and traveling for it.
DeleteIt was nice to have that kid moment with my parents. ;) Comforting.
Happy holidays, country mouse! Oh, I love that idea of doing a world blogging tour. I feel like if I ever go anywhere near any of you guys I have to hunt you down! :) I'm glad the holidays were fun and togetherness in good ways and not as painful as they've been in the past.
ReplyDeleteHa! I like that. World Blogging Tour 2025. Start saving now. :)
DeleteGlad you had a good trip! If you're planning a world blogging tour, don't forget, Canada is close (well, Mexico too, I suppose...!), AND you have the advantage of a good US-to-Canadian exchange rate! ;)
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