Tuesday, February 7, 2023

WOTY 2023 Addendum

Aaand I just realized that I would have hated my WOTY for 2023 back when I was trying to get pregnant. Telling a woman to relax when she's trying to get pregnant is insulting. It adds to her guilt, shame, and sense that she is doing something wrong. It's a mean thing to say. It SUCKS. And yes, I heard it a lot.

So I'm pretty surprised that I've been thinking about a word for over a month now without even associating it with that. It wasn't until after I posted my last post that I had my facepalm moment.

But I guess that goes to show that whatever may be taking up all of our brain space in the moment, changes. It changes. 

Now when I think about the word "relax" I just think about pausing, taking a deep breath, lowering my shoulders, and relaxing my forehead. That might all sound weird. But apparently I am just hunching up my shoulders and furrowing my brow unknowingly because it seems I can always do something physical to help myself relax a little. 

So, anyway, not the greatest post. But I just had to comment on my word choice. 

But I won't worry about it. I'll just practice relaxing. ;)


  1. Dear Phoenix,

    I love this! Because I feel pretty similar :-).
    "Just relax" – oh, that would have upset me at the time as well!

    And yet, taking a deep breath and calming myself down in situations when I'm nervous have become my new practice! I have learned that my body reacts to stress in so many ways that are harmful in the long run! Stress is in many ways unavoidable in today's society/work life, and since I tend to be tense or nervous quite easily, I try to support my body in the best way I can ;-).

    Warm winter greetings from Switzerland!

    1. Yes, Elaine! I get nervous and stressed pretty easily too. Reminding myself to relax has been very helpful. There will always be stress. I want to enjoy my life, not always be worried!

  2. Ha, the power of context! I think having the "just" in front of relax is what makes it infuriating. Like it's a magical (and horribly vague, responsibility-pointing) suggestion. But to relax, to let go, to loosen the tight places, that is an excellent intention.

    1. "Just" relax v. "to" relax... I love this distinction!