Hello! I feel like it's been so long since I've written. I'm feeling a bit rusty... I got knocked down with a nasty cold and was out of commission in life for awhile. Not exactly how I wanted to start the semester but that's the way it goes sometimes... I've been catching up with reading everyone else's posts and I continue to be so grateful for this community.
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Why I'm Blogging
1. It helps me with my recovery.
Recovery from infertility is a very real thing and a very long, if not lifelong, process. After waiting around for a couple of years for a loved one, or anyone, to reach out to me and help me, I finally realized no one was coming. Furthermore, no one could do it for me. I had to figure out for myself what I was going to do. Thankfully, I had the support of my husband. But as someone who always relied heavily on girlfriends, I was still very lonely. Writing here helps me figure out what I'm thinking and feeling. It gives me a place to vent, whine, cry, or celebrate. And, most importantly to me, it gives me the opportunity to connect with others who understand from experience.
2. It helps me help others.
I honestly don't know where I'd be if it weren't for what I call the Blogging Pioneers. I spent a couple of years reading so many posts from women who were living life after infertility. It gave me hope and encouragement that life would be worth living again. It gave me comfort to know that I wasn't crazy and that what I was thinking and feeling was actually quite normal for someone in my situation. It also helped me stop fertility treatments. I'm thankful I had the opportunity to try treatment, but, as I shared in previous posts, they were not healthy for me. Despite my love for my doctor, nurses, phlebotomists, and the clinic overall, fertility treatments were killing my spirit and I needed to stop. I don't know if I would have been able to quit as easily as I did without reading everyone else's stories and learning how incredibly common it is for fertility treatments to not result in pregnancy. Now that I am moving on and working to take my life in a completely different direction, I hope I can help someone out there who may be where I used to be. It really does get good again! Even if that seems impossible to believe.
3. I want to preserve an extremely important friendship.
I have one amazing friend that I can say anything to. We had different paths in life, but she is also childless/childfree, and she also wanted children and would have been a freaking amazing mother. She has been there for me every step of the way. She has listened to me for years. But she is so important to me and I don't want to drag her down. My emotional stability and recovery from infertility is not her responsibility; it is mine. And even though she would welcome anything I felt I needed to tell her, I don't want to unload too much and burden her. That's not the kind of friend I want to be. So, while I am immensely thankful for her friendship and support, I realized I needed another outlet in which to express myself so I didn't overload our friendship.
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My second semester has started and, especially starting out so sick, I am already feeling overwhelmed. However, this blog and my health and recovery are important to me, so I will continue reading and writing here. If I can be helpful in any way, please let me know in the comments. You can also email me at infertilephoenix at gmail dot com.
I hope everyone's 2017 is off to a good start! I'm thinking now is a good time to start my new year's resolutions haha. :) They're always the same: eat well, exercise, and save money, and every year I get just a little bit better.
Onward! :)
Phoenix I can relate to all these reasons for blogging; they are mine too. I kind of expected particular loved ones to reach out and help me, or at least be closer to me, after what I'd told them and after what they knew I'd been through, but that wasn't to be. During my 20s my female best friends were the most significant people in my life; that changes, sadly, and we hardly see each other these days - I mourn that more than I'd ever mourn not having my own family. The writing and the connections made are an amazing substitute. I was also heavily influenced by those Blogging Pioneers, we probably had all the same ones on our favourites lists. I lurked as an anonymous comment-leaver for years and might not have started blogging if it wasn't for them. I really want to spread the message now that there are lots of us out there, and smash the notion that we're a scary societal group to join. I love the blogger connections I have made and blogging has lifted me out of potential depression. Hope you're feeling less overwhelmed soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's so good to read a comment from you, Shores. Thank you!
DeleteYes, yes, yes. The loss of female friendships is/was a very hard thing for me. When I was seeing a counselor for infertility (too bad she retired because she was great), I actually ended up talking a lot about all of my changed friendships and she helped me navigate my feelings and maintain realistic (as in, ahem, much lower) expectations for others.
I agree that we are not a scary societal group to join. I hope we are all helping others who are struggling to see that life does get good again.
Lovely post! These are all good reasons to blog, and we can all relate to them.
ReplyDeleteI think your commenter about your New Year's resolutions silly equally to life without kids. Every year, we do better.
Thank you, Mali. Yes, every year we do a little better! :)
DeleteI think we can all relate to your reasons for blogging. :) It's always great to see a post from you, but don't worry if life gets in the way of blogging sometimes... it happens, & we all understand! ;) Happy new year!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Loribeth!! :) Happy New Year to you too!
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