Yesterday I felt supported, and it felt good.
First, I went to my second counseling session with the counselor that works at my school. Dang, did I get lucky. She is good!! I have no idea what her political views are and whether or not she has children because she is able to put it all aside and just listen to me. I mean, that's what any professional should do but it's easier said than done. She provided me validation and, my favorite, put things into words that I had been previously unable to do.
I told her I wanted to keep working hard on my recovery because I want to go into pediatrics after I graduate. So I will need to be able to deal with parents and all of their parenting comments. I don't feel raw like I did two years ago, but I'm still wounded. I might always be, I might not. But I feel confident that I can get to a place where I can serve children and their families, because I freaking love kids!! Kids and I are drawn to each other, but I will save that for another post another day... :)
Our session ran over a little bit which made me late for class, but I didn't care. My mental health is more important than the first 10 minutes of a class lecture. However, my friends in class jokingly gave me a hard time for being late. Most of them have a long commute to school, but I live extremely close. So they thought I had just overslept or something. I told them, haha, no I was in counseling downstairs. I saw a brief look of surprise go across all of their eyes and then they all just smiled and said oh okay, cool. My one friend who actually knows about my infertility (the young guy with the baby) asked how it went and I said really good. He said great. He is a total dude, but he really has a sensitive side to him too. (Not saying guys can't be sensitive. Of course they can. Just saying he's a pretty cool guy and he's going to be great in our future profession.)
I don't mind telling people I'm going to the counselor. I think my classmates were surprised because I'm always the one laughing and cracking jokes in class. But I've dealt with depression my whole life and I always try to say comments to destigmatize getting help. In fact, one of my friends (she's 22- the age difference between me and my new school friends will never not crack me up) asked me about the counseling services after class, saying she was thinking about going. I told her the counselor was great and I was going to see her again next month. I mean, we get 12 free sessions a year and counseling is expensive. Why not go if you need it?
After class, I went up to my professor to apologize for my tardiness. She said it was okay and that she was glad I said something to her. I continued, sharing that I was downstairs in counseling and that it shouldn't happen again. She then said, "Oh, well, if you were in counseling it is definitely okay. I'm so glad you are taking advantage of that service." I told her thank you, that I was glad it was offered, that I have an issue outside of school that I'm dealing with, and that the counselor is very nice. Then she said, "Well, if you need any additional support, let me know. I am here."
Wow. It really touched me. I thought her response was just so nice and caring. <3
Yesterday was so good!