Thursday, May 10, 2018

Survived the Semester

Well it's official. A woman who has lost her children to infertility and (although no longer in the acute phase) is still grieving and processing her experiences CAN survive a semester about pediatrics in a terrible program with awful professors who favor students who are parents.

Really, there is no limit to what women like us can accomplish. We emerge from our caves of darkness with a profound strength and sensitivity we never asked for. What doesn't kill you... Well, what doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you. We are still alive, so here we are.
So what do we want to do?

I took my last final exam yesterday and I never have to go back to that horrible campus again.
It's over. It's done. I am finished.

And I am incredibly proud. Proud of myself. Proud of my husband and marriage for making it through everything we've been through. Proud of this community for the crucial support and understanding you all have given me. We did it!!!

I am feeling very empowered right now, and I believe all of us can create a new plan (no matter how big or small) and make it happen. You don't have to change your entire life like I'm doing. Don't feel that kind of pressure. We have all felt enough negativity already to last us a lifetime.

But I survived infertility when I didn't think I could. I survived this disappointing school program when I doubted that I could. And I survived this incredibly-challenging-for-so-many-reasons semester when I really just wanted to quit and run away.

We are survivors. And nothing can ever take that away from us. And with surviving comes an immeasurable strength and perseverance that will serve us for the rest of our lives.

16 comments:

  1. Congrats! You rock!

    I’m sorry your program was horrid, but I’m glad you’re done with it!!!

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  2. Brava!!! I am so pleased that you are proud of yourself. You deserve to be proud. I feel proud of you, and for you!

    Yes to your last sentence. This is why I talk about us as the true success stories.

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    1. Thank you!

      The true survivors indeed. If you are reading these comments, please check out Mali's post about The Real Success Stories: http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2018/04/childless-success-stories-revisited-our.html

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  3. I am so very happy for you! And proud of you!
    Wishing you all the best for the future!
    sending lots of love from sLOVEnia,
    Klara

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    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you Klara!! Your support over the last several years has meant the world to me. <3

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  4. Yesss! Well done, Phoenix! I'm so very happy you made it :-)

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  5. Congratulations! You SHOULD be proud! :)

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    1. Thank you so much Loribeth. This isn't an easy life to live, but it is worth it. Thank you for all of your support and for shining a light down a path that I didn't know how to navigate.

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  6. Woo! Go you! It's so awesome that you were able to power through the program (with all its bizarreness).

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    1. Sooo bizarre!!! I mean... Just really freaking weird! We're studying healthcare, a profession where we HELP people and those professors were... NOT nice people. Good riddance.

      I'm looking forward to the next chapter of my life. :)

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  7. Congratulations! Yes! You did it, and you did it with grace and perseverance. You are a survivor, for sure, and a thriver. Here's to what's next!

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    1. Hear, hear! I will toast with you to what is next!

      And I have never thought of myself as graceful in any way, so thank you for your very kind compliment. :)

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