Infertility taught me the importance of self care. I have to take care of myself. No one else can.
Last week I returned to my previous career of teaching. I have been out of the classroom for... awhile. I am definitely out of teacher shape and I need to build up my stamina. I spent the past weekend resting and taking care of myself. I went to the grocery store, did the dishes, did my laundry, cooked food for this week's meals, and went to bed early. It wasn't very exciting, but it was necessary.
When I was teaching before infertility, I used my weekends to grade papers and write lesson plans. Not this year. Not anymore. My weekends are mine. As long as I am maximizing instructional time, facilitating learning, building relationships, and hopefully ensuring that each student feels successful at something, then I can go home every evening knowing I have done my best.
Then I go home and rest. And eat. And read and relax. I want to get in the habit of going to a weekly yoga class. On Sunday I sewed for the first time in a couple of weeks when I sewed together the binding for my first quilt. (I'll post pics when I finish!)
So I'm doing all right. I'm very tired and still processing a lot while starting a new job, but I am taking care of myself. I am showing up at my job and in life overall. I am doing the best I can every damn day.
But, thanks to what I learned from infertility, I am most definitely doing it all on my own terms.
Oh, good for you! I call this one of my gifts of infertility - self-care. Isn't it terrible that we needed infertility to learn that we deserve to receive some self-care? But isn't it great that we learnt the lesson?
ReplyDeleteYour weekend sounds perfectly acceptable. It was YOURS, and as you pointed out, that's what is important.
Your gifts of infertility series definitely came to mind as I was writing this post. :) It's unfortunate that it took me experiencing infertility to finally learn self-care and boundaries, but hey, now I know what I deserve!
DeleteKudos to you! I taught for ten years and was never able to achieve that balance. I'm an introvert (although I'm very out-going) so at the end of the school day I'd be totally depleted. I knew I needed to keep the well filled so that you I'd have something to give, but I could never turn knowledge into action. You're doing it!
DeleteI am in awe of your balance! I suck at that. I do try to make Saturdays school work free, but the beginning of the school year is so hard. Getting back in the swing of things is exhausting, you forget how hard it is to be "on" so much of the day and have moments defined by bells and rushing and trying to get everything done even when you know that's impossible. I feel you, lady! You are doing a great job though, and it will get easier. I have to keep telling myself that... After a few weeks it will be easier! Glad you're doing this on your own terms.
ReplyDeleteWelllll... ;) I ended up bringing work home. About 4 hours of work on Sunday the last two weekends has made my life a lot better during the rest of the week. You're right. The beginning of the school year is so hard. But it will get better and I'm pretty sure I won't be working on the weekends pretty soon. I've started getting to work earlier. That helps. I'm just too tired at the end of the school day to be efficiently productive.
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