Sunday, February 9, 2020

Social Media: Love It or Leave It?

Mel at the Stirrup Queens got me thinking about social media with her post, Twitter Famous.

I use twitter. I think it's good for niche interests. You can meet other hobby/sports enthusiasts and nerd out about your common interest.

I don't use fb or ig. I deleted both accounts this summer. I've enjoyed not having them. Fb made me feel weird, like it was a collection of people I used to know but didn't really keep in touch with anymore. And I never could get into ig. Too many selfies and filtered food pics. Even though I did follow some craft accounts that posted some cool art.

In general, I think I'm too private for those platforms. Then again, that doesn't make sense because I blog about the most traumatic thing I've gone through and how I'm coping and healing from it. So how private can I claim to be?

The blogging community saved my spirit. Maybe I could've saved myself on my own eventually, but I don't know... Reading other women's thoughts and experiences helped me understand my own alienation from society. Concepts like "disenfranchised grief" told me that I wasn't crazy during a time when it felt like everyone around me was telling me the opposite. So, overall, I am incredibly thankful for social media because it means the international blogging community of infertile women can connect with each other.

I haven't even jumped into the online quilting world yet. The more I learn about my new hobby, the more I learn how huge the community is. So I am sure there is a TON on the internet. All I've done so far is shop online for fabric and look up videos to learn how to do basic quilting skills.

There's a lot of bad about social media, but there's a lot of good too.

I'm glad I grew up without the internet. I'm glad I have the internet now.
It's the best of both worlds.

How about you? What are your social media preferences?


  1. Dear Phoenix, I'm not on FB either, and I hate social media in general (I wish they could be more about communicating and less about narcissism...).
    But the blogosphere truly saved me. I can not imagine being where I am today without it, because the Internet has been the only space where I could communicate with women like me. Thanks to you too, you showed me the way :-)
    I love your sentence: "I'm glad I grew up without the internet. I'm glad I have the internet now." So am I :-D

    1. Thank goodness for the blogosphere!! Connection is so important. <3

  2. Interesting question... I quit facebook ten years ago and never regretted it.

    However, I started an IG account a little more than three years ago as a means of chasing beauty. I wanted to collect the tiny, yet lovely things: fall leaves at the sidewalk, colorful cherry tomatoes, anything really that had some beauty in it. I wanted to treasure the small things in life because the big thing (infertility) was so heavy and I desperately needed to create a balance. I haven't posted a single selfie yet though. It took me a long time to even show my face (even partly) in the profile picture, and I don't use my full name. So IG for me has to do with creativity, beauty and sharing the good things. Chasing beauty has become less important to me though as healing came and I didn't feel I needed it so much anymore.

    The CNBC blogosphere was crucial in my healing process as well. It filled the hole of the missing support in real life (because all my friends/sisters had kids and thus other things to worry about). And just like you, I am glad I grew up without the internet and especially without smartphones. I do catch myself spending too much time in front of screens at times!

    Have a lovely week!

    1. I like your IG account! <3 I think that's how I enjoy social media--when the account has a specific purpose.

  3. Ah, I'm still on FB, but never joined IG. I have Twitter but don't use it, never really appealed to me and I forget about it. Pinterest is where I dive into a rabbit hole of interests. FB I've limited lately, it's hard because I have a lot of family all around the country and some feel disconnected when I don't post things, and I like to be as awkward as humanly possible on FB to combat filters and fakeness (although I do love snowy woods behind my house pictures, and fuzzy snowy deer pictures, and food pictures but no filters, and an inordinate amount of cat pictures). I think as far as true social media goes, blogging is the best because it's authentic and people are raw and like you said, reflect back things that make you feel less crazy and alone. I like the community of it, and on FB that feels very shallow. Pinterest isn't social at all to me -- I just collect things and plan vacations and hair colors and imaginary libraries. Interesting question!

    1. Yeah, fb just left me feeling empty. I agree: Blogging IS the best! <3

  4. I'm on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest (thanks for that reminder, Jess!), as well as blogging. They all have their good & bad points. Facebook is a great way of staying in touch with family & friends, but they tend to have a, shall we say, broad range of political opinions (which some express more vocally than others...!), and that can get tedious. The unfollow button helps, although I should probably use it more than I do. Instagram is mostly just photos & videos, which can be nice, but there's an awful lot of self-promotion going on there -- people promoting their business & side gigs, etc. Twitter, of course, can be a cesspool, but there's also a lot of wit & humour on there that I quite enjoy. I just try to limit my time there. I hardly ever post anything original but I do like & retweet a lot (& I'm a lot more political there than I am anywhere else). Blogging is definitely best in terms of self-expression & connecting on a deeper level with others who share your interests, I think!

  5. I love Facebook. I love it because I keep in touch with friends who were on the same student exchange almost (gulp) 40 years ago, and as a result, met up with two of them on Friday when one of them was visiting NZ! I love it because it keeps me in touch with all my family members who live overseas, and with friends from afar, and it gives me a much closer relationship with my nieces. I don't use it to be in touch with people in my town, but for those out of town/out of country relationships, it works really well. Because most people are not great correspondents, and don't write emails or long letters anymore. So to know what they're doing, and have the occasional chat (via whatsapp or messenger), is wonderful.

    I'm on Instagram for No Kidding in NZ which is a recent development and I have to see how it goes. I also have a personal account which I use for travel pics and the occasional other photography projects, and I like it for that. But I don't really put anything personal on it or anything that would identify. My priority there is beautiful photos.

    I've never quite got Twitter.

    Blogging is where I am challenged, think about things deeply, and have established some long lasting (I think/hope) relationships. Thank goodness for blogging!

    1. I like your approach to fb. You're right about people not being great correspondents.

      Blogging is obviously my favorite. :)