Sunday, August 2, 2020

My Unsolicited Advice ;)

That was an extremely difficult move. All moves are difficult but throw in a pandemic and a rental truck shortage and you've got yourself set up for a very, very not-fun time.

But we made it. Two truck loads and unloads and twelve hours of driving later, my boyfriend and I now live in our new rental place. Absolutely nothing is unpacked. It took us two whole days just to recover from our soreness and exhaustion.

I have been extremely anxious throughout this process. Moves are stressful. Change is hard. The pandemic makes everything harder. In addition to the usual stress of moving, change, and unfamiliarity, there's an added layer of fear for me. Stopping for gas, getting food, stopping for a bathroom break... Every decision made is a calculated risk. It wears on your nerves.

Kind of like... Infertility. Yes, seriously. This is all way too familiar. I recognize that I am living and operating in a compromised, heightened state. Like I've done for years now. I just do the best I can with each moment, balancing rest with productivity, while trying to be patient with myself...

So, no, I did NOT want to do that move. I had anticipatory anxiety for weeks and then the whole thing sucked just like I thought it would. Ha.

But... What was the alternative?

Stay where I was? It wasn't where I wanted to be. None of the last nine years have been where I wanted to be. So I just keep moving away from what I don't want and moving toward what I do want.

And today, while still hot, exhausted, and surrounded by boxes, I know I am on the right track.

*****

So that's my unsolicited advice: move away from what you don't want and you will inevitably head toward what you do want. You don't even have to worry about where you are going. You're on your own timeline and there is no rush. And you don't even have to know what you want. (That would be a tall order!) Just pay attention to when you feel good, when you feel bad, when you feel peaceful, when you feel anxious, when you feel happy/excited, etc. Don't judge your feelings. Just notice them and use them as information as you move toward what feels right for you.



7 comments:

  1. Yes, even though the moving was hard, you are where you want to be now - or on the way. Yay. Good luck with all the boxes. That's the one problem with internet friendships - I can't help you clean or move boxes.

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    1. How kind of you that you would help me unpack boxes! :)

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    2. It's easy to offer when I'm on the other side of the world! lol But I like to think I would.

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  2. Fantastic unsolicited advice: "move away from what you don't want and you will inevitably head toward what you do want." I agree that moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, and so much of it (the waiting, the uncertainty) reminded me of infertility. BUT, I love the idea of moving TOWARD something rather than AWAY. And creating a new space for yourself that is closer to where you want to be. I'm glad you are done moving, although the unpacking is a beast too. But it's nice to have that blank slate and get things just where you want them, and reevaluate the stuff you unpack. (I cannot BELIEVE how many expired foodstuffs we moved, I guess it spoke to the stress of the process, ha!). Good luck with the unpacking!

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    1. Ooh, I like your comment about reevaluating the stuff I unpack. I will definitely do that.

      Yes, I needed a new space. Well, mainly, I just needed space in general haha. My last rental was so cramped that there wasn't anywhere to lay out my quilt tops to pin them to the batting and backing fabric to make my quilt sandwiches for quilting. So I just kept sewing quilt tops... Now I have THREE tops to pin into sandwiches to get ready for quilting. And the space to do that in! :)

      Terrible, difficult move. But worth it! Thank you always for your comments. <3

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  3. My last move, four years ago, was stressful in the extreme, and we weren't dealing with a pandemic!! I was quite happy with where we were, but dh was not. But you're right, focusing on what we were moving TO helped: family, a (hopefully) happier husband, a new home with less upkeep to worry about, somewhere we hope to age in place. I hope you're settling in nicely by now!

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    1. I'm definitely starting to feel more comfortable here. And I will feel even more comfortable once the weather gets cooler! :) I am sooo thankful the move is behind me. I hope to be where I am for awhile.

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