Thursday, June 24, 2021

Positively Overwhelmed

I've built a strong foundation for the rest of my life. I have my values, my skills, and my experiences. But I still feel insecure. I'm working on accepting the uncomfortable feelings I'm feeling right now. It's really uncomfortable. Really, really uncomfortable. In one moment I feel strong and in the next moment I feel self-conscious and self-critical.

Gahhh this is my life with anxiety. 

I'm tired of it. I usually manage well, but it turns out a lot of stress can still send me spiraling. I'm so glad I'm in my forties, not my teens or twenties. I have better coping strategies now. 

I notice my feelings. I don't judge them. I sit with them. I get what information I can from them. 

And I keep going. 

It makes sense I feel this way. But even if it didn't make sense, my feelings would still be valid.

Learning this new job continues to kick my butt. I got some feedback today that was delivered constructively but was still hard to hear. My car has been in the shop for weeks. I like my rental car and so far the process is going smoothly. So there's lots to be thankful for, but it's still a pain. Something to keep track of, something to pay for, and something to plan around. It takes up head space. Not to mention I'm moving. I'm sitting around boxes. My boyfriend and I will be physically moving all of them soon, along with the furniture. But first, we decided to repaint the kitchen before moving in, which has turned into repainting the living room as well. There's a lot of good, but it's a bit overwhelming. Plus, my sewing machine and all of my fabric are packed away.

I am out of balance.

But that's how it goes sometimes.

In my experience, life doesn't happen for years and years. Then life happens all at once.


  1. "In my experience, life doesn't happen for years and years. Then life happens all at once." - I agree with you.

    There are times when it is unavoidable to be out of balance. These moments are hard. Thinking of you and sending many good wishes ♡.

  2. Abiding with you, through yet more transition. Even if it's good stuff, the transition part sucks. I'm sorry you're out of balance, that is a horrible feeling. I hope you can be settled in soon and this unbalanced transition time doesn't last. 💜

  3. Life happening all it once is stressful. I hope you manage to find some calm in amongst all the changes. The good thing is that it isn't permanent. You'll get your car back. You'll settle in to the job. And you'll move into a new place with gorgeous painted walls in the kitchen and living room.

    Thinking of you.