Today was another tough one.
I imagine this may be somewhat of a collective experience right now.
I felt irritated and restless. Then I felt sad and depressed. I didn't want to do ANYTHING.
Not read or sew or watch tv or eat or shower or organize... All the things I usually feel like doing.
I woke up earlier than usual (naturally, definitely not on purpose haha), got up, drank coffee, ran to get milk and laundry detergent (masked in an N95), and... Went back to bed.
It's the pandemic.
It's month 23 and the infection numbers are higher than ever.
It's scary and depressing. And annoying. And exhausting.
I can't live in bed. I know this. But when I feel like this, I allow it for a day.
So there I was, lying in bed, snuggled under the covers, alternating between being weepy and being sleepy. It reminded me of dealing with infertility. When there was nothing in my control and no end in sight.
I thought about what was in my control. And then I thought about how I get to choose what I think about. I realized I was tired of the same 3 - 4 things I'd been thinking about and decided to think of other topics to let my brain rest on.
Usually I can daydream about quilting lol. I like to think of design ideas, fabric combinations, and the next steps I will take on various projects. But that wasn't working for me today. So I had to find other topics to think about. After letting myself jump around to a bunch of different things on my mind, I rested on being grateful for my home and looking forward to having it put together.
It can be hard to redirect our thoughts, but it's something we can get better at with practice.