Wednesday, August 10, 2022

High School Best Friends (& their kids)

I am thankful for texting. Because of texting, it is easy to stay in touch with important people even if it's only a couple of times a year or so. If you would have told me 25 years ago, that I'd still be in touch with my best friends, well... One, I'd be happy to hear it. Two, I wouldn't be surprised because that's what I expected before I realized what a whirlwind life can be and how things can completely change over the years. So, I'm surprised to still be in touch with my best friends from high school, even if it's what my younger self expected. Lol.

I had one best friend in high school that went to the same school as me. She introduced me to two friends of hers that went to a different school than us. We all became really good friends, I love these girls (lol, women!) more than anything. We've stayed in touch throughout the years, through the four different colleges we attended, four marriages, seven kids, and two divorces. 

These are the kind of friends where you could show up on their doorstep in the middle of the night without warning and they'd take you in and make you dinner, or at least pour you a glass of wine. Except I don't drink wine. And one of us quit drinking altogether. But you get what I mean. They are the real MVPs. The kind of chicks that will always have your back.

I'm so glad it doesn't hurt anymore to be friends with these women I love so much.

I'm the only one without kids.

Last night one of them texted the rest of us just asking how everyone was doing. We all gave updates, and I got to share about my new jobs! They all know I went through failed IVF. They all came to my going away party when I moved out of state. They are very supportive of me.

But of course last night's update texts led to pictures of everyone's kids...

Oh my gosh, they are all getting so big!!! And all of the kids look just like their mothers!! <3

The oldest set of kids are two boys, about 16 and 14 now. I remember when they were born. I remember thinking how crazy it was that one of my best friends was already married and having kids on purpose. Haha. I was nowhere near ready to be a mother. I wanted to be a mother badly... Just not yet. 

The next set of kids are about 9 and 7. This is how old my kids would be if kids had worked out for me. This friend and I were actively trying to get pregnant at the same time. Obviously, it worked out for her. I have to say though, even though the timing of her children's pregnancies and births were painful for me, this friend was the most compassionate toward me out of everyone in my life. She was the first (and one of only a few) that flat out said to me. "This sucks," when we were talking about my problems with getting pregnant.

The final set of kids are about 4 and 1.5. There's an older kid and a younger set of twins. All three babies are the result of successful IVF. 

All seven kids were... Gorgeous. Is that weird to say? I hate to focus on kids' appearances. I am much more interested in their academics, sports, creative arts, and, most importantly, their manners and how they treat themselves and others. But my friends' kids are gorgeous. It's inside and out. I can tell from the pictures that they are all happy kids. And they all look like my friends! It's crazy!! 

Yeah, I was a little sad. What would my kids look like?

But overall, I wasn't. I don't have kids. I've had some time to get used to this idea. 

And I wouldn't live here if I did have kids. I doubt I'd be divorced, although you never know... But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be living here. And I love it here. My home, the geographical area.

I like my life, and I'm happy that my friends and their kids are happy. I'm grateful and amazed that pictures don't bother me like they used to. And I'm hopeful they will all plan a vacation out here sometime over the next couple of years! :)


  1. Oh, IP, brava! This is such a lovely post to read.

    There are a couple of kids I feel a special connection to, simply because one of them shared a due date with one of my pregnancies, and through them I can see how old my kids might have been. It can be hard, but lovely too, to see them grow up. Even long distance.

    1. We haven't always all been in touch. There were different time periods (decades?) where we just kind of peripherally knew where each other were, but I'm glad we are all in touch now. <3

  2. Dear Phoenix,

    How wonderful is this: "Yeah, I was a little sad. [...] But overall, I wasn't." Time doesn't heal everything, but it helps, doesn't it?

    You can be so proud of how far you've come <3.

    Much love!

  3. Contact with old friends can sure be a mixed bag, can't it? Right about the time you wrote this post, my best friend from high school was at her oldest daughter's WEDDING. She is in her early 30s. My nephews are around the same age, but it sure gave me pause!! My friend says she thinks it would be nice to be a grandmother, but she's not counting on it. I'm glad she said that, although I think the odds are in her favour. ;)

    1. That's refreshing that your friend isn't counting on being a grandmother even if the odds are in her favor.

      My oldest sister will complain to me about not being a grandmother (thankfully, it's always just a comment, not a whole conversation about it) because my nephew does not want kids. However, her stepdaughter just had a baby that she dotes on so... She does get to be grandmother? I don't get it; people are weird...

      I am technically old enough to be a grandmother now, but most of my friends had their kids later in life so I will cross that "everyone has grandkids but me" bridge later in life.