This week is exactly what I needed after the year I had.
In July I realized I was doing too much. I was overworked and underpaid, got my heart broken by my family, and knew I was completely maxed out. It still took me six months to follow through with my commitments and pare down my schedule. Now that I've done that, it is crucial that I don't automatically load my schedule back up.
I did some serious journaling this weekend. I reflected on 2024 in a very thorough way so I don't have to revisit it repeatedly. I culled all of the lessons and bits of gratitude that I could, and I am moving further away from the toxic situations that I left. With every passing day, all of that negativity gets further in my past.
For the last several years I've developed a good practice of asking myself "What do I want?" and "What do I need?" When you are used to taking care of everyone else (my mother's feelings, my students' problems, my patients' needs), it can take awhile to be able to answer those questions for yourself. You may have to just sit with the questions for some time before any answers arrive.
This year I am adding a third question to ask myself: "Is this my problem?" I think it's genius! I think asking and answering this question for myself will save me so much time and energy!! I'm excited and relieved to have thought of this.
Sooo many things aren't our problems. We didn't cause them, and we can't fix them. And really, we don't have to pay attention to them. Easier said than done. Just practice.
Free yourself.
So, yes, I love this week. The week between Xmas and the New Year. Where the country slows down for once, at least a little bit. Where I can cocoon and snuggle and hibernate, thinking and reflecting. And then also not thinking at all, just resting. In my world, this week is quiet. Still. Cozy. Peaceful.
It's my favorite week to be honest. It's the final lap of the year. Enjoy it.
Happy almost new year! I love your chips and salsa, I love the planner, bit in particular -- I love your new question. I'm glad you can reflect and excise the negativity from the year while celebrating the good. You are battling the cult of busy so well! Love it, love you!
ReplyDeleteIt's kinda hard not to be busy. On the plus side, I'm interested in things and want to do stuff. On the other hand, there's so much boring stuff to do too hahaha. I suppose we are all striving for balance. Happy almost New Year, Jess! <3
DeleteI have to say I always love this week too. Because there are no obligations to do anything. Even retired/unemployed as I am, I like having time to just be. It's been especially good this year (well, it's been covid-induced miserable, but you know what I mean), because I haven't even felt the pressure to enjoy myself or go out in the sunshine. Yours actually sounds productive, in a self-affirming way. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm honestly sad that the last week of the year is already over. I really enjoy that period of downtime. But I rested all December and I can't rest forever, lol! I was in a funk today, but hopefully that will pass as I get into routines for the new year.
DeleteI hope you are feeling better!! I could have sworn I left a comment on your post about getting covid, but maybe I only did it in my mind. I had it in February 2024 and I was sick for a full two weeks. But then it was over! Ease back into your regular activity. <3
I love the question “ is it my problem?” It’s genius.i would love to borrow it, as well as those other two questions.i feel like i have burn out also. I slept most of the two weeks of Christmas/ New Year. Even when I was supposed to be working.i am interested to see what comes next for you. I like that planner. I’m not really very good at introspection but maybe it could help me be more present. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI always think that if we sleep that much (and we're not sleeping to avoid things) then we need the sleep. But, as a teacher, I never woke my students up. I'm just very pro-sleep. It takes a lot to restore the body.
DeleteIntrospection is good to a point. It's good to reflect, and then it's good to move forward with what we've learned so far. (I have to make sure I get out of my head and don't stay stuck.)
I'm glad the questions I ask myself resonate with you. I hope they're helpful. They are really helping me.