I am sad about things bigger than me that are out of my control, from my family dynamics to the current events in our country. I am sad that I have worked so hard and make so little. Plus, I know I am not alone with any of these thoughts and feelings. And that makes me sad too.
It's also my season of grief and I am sad that I don't have children. Along with sincerely loving the life I have created for myself, a part of me may always be sad about not having children.
Being childless not by choice is unique. Things affect me unexpectedly. Like Winnie the Pooh.
I am participating in a 100 Acre Wood quilt sew along and the latest block is Kanga and Roo. It's adorable. It's little Roo peeking out from Kanga's pouch. I picked out my fabrics and cut all of my pieces and... Felt such strong resistance to sewing the block. I put it off until this past Saturday when I faced the fact that I was dreading sewing that particular block.
But... I want to make the quilt and it would look weird with a whole block missing. I told myself to just plow through it and get it done in a day. So I did. And once I got started I had fun. And now it is finished. And I am glad it is done.
I wonder if sewing that block triggered anything for anyone else in the sew along.
I admit; I engaged in some retail therapy this weekend as well.
I bought four books from Thrift Books. I always save a lot of money by buying through them. Then I ordered just a little bit of fabric from Fat Quarter Shop, including a yard of the picture above. I love the juxtaposition of the rain and the sun.
💜🌞☔🌈
(Links are shared if you're interested. I'm not affiliated or paid. I just like to shop at both places.)
Dear Phoenix, I am sending hugs for the season of grief.
ReplyDeleteI love how cheerful the pattern on the new fabric looks and that you picked it in spite of everything :-).
Much love!
Thank you! I thought the fabric looked cheerful too. <3
DeleteI felt this, this post hits true for me as well. Sewing was something I took up when I was trying to become a mother, so although I love sewing each time I sit down to do it, it triggers a pang that I have grown to understand and respect. I send hugs and congratulations on finishing your block...and your choices in retail therapy <3
ReplyDeleteI hear you on that. <3
Delete...Would "quilting" have a different feel than "sewing?" There's some pretty badass fabric nowadays and also a lot of social justice avenues that quilting can take that is so far removed from motherhood and child-raising. (But don't mind me, I am very blatantly always trying to convert people to quilting haha.)
That block is done! And next is Eeyore, someone I can relate to so much more... ;)
The rain and sun are so representative of all our lives. And yes, I am sure that you were not the only one triggered in the sew along. Who knows, they might have actually found you here too.
ReplyDeleteBooks and fabric. What's not to love?! (I'd replace fabric with wool, that's all!)
Sending love.
The rain and the sun, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad... You can't have one without the other. <3
DeleteAnd I bet other quilters had feelings about that block. It's a really cute block, but a lot of us have had miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, involuntary childlessness, and child loss... Also, a lot of people's wonderful children get caught up in substance abuse/addiction or workaholism or whatever else can consume someone and so they don't have the relationships they envisioned and desire. It can be so hard and complicated all the way around. I'm sure that block brought up stuff for others too. We are never alone, even when we feel like it.
So we reach out to others and enjoy the little things like books and fabric. Or wool. :) I tried some needle felting right before I found quilting. It was pretty fun. I made some really cute woodland animals.