Sunday, October 2, 2016

Thankful for the Blogging Pioneers

I think if I waited until I had my thoughts perfectly collected and perfectly articulated I would never post, so I think I'll just jump in and write.  So there probably won't be any grand organization to this blog, just a collection of thoughts that reflect what's on my mind on any given day.  Hopefully the blog will get better over time, as I learn how to insert tags and links, but, hey, no promises! :)

First and foremost, I want to give a HUGE thank you to all of the bloggers that have been writing for years.  There are several blogs that I have read from start to finish, and there are many blogs that I check almost daily to satiate my craving for connection and understanding.  They have all contributed to my healing and to my ability to keep moving forward, no matter how slowly I was crawling in the beginning.

Infertility devastated me.  It was tragic and traumatizing.  My whole life dream was to be a mom. Nearly every decision I made in my life was made with the idea that I would be a mother someday.  When it didn't happen, I became very depressed.  Ha!  "Very depressed" is an understatement.  I felt isolated from society and alienated from my peer group.  Not only did I not have what I wanted (what I felt I was born to be) and it seemed like everyone else did, I received no compassion, sympathy, or empathy.  I received no acknowledgement for what I'd lost and what I'd been through.  I kept thinking, "#@&%!!!  Where's my damn casserole?  Aren't loved ones supposed to reach out in times like these??"

So I turned to the internet, where I learned about disenfranchised grief and found other women who were bravely writing and sharing their stories.  I have yet to meet any of them, but I am so grateful for these bloggers.  Infertility isn't fatal, but these women may have saved my will to live.

The first blog I came across was Infertility Honesty.  Oh.  My.  God.  Thank you Sarah!!!!  Your writing.  I am speechless.  But you put words to so many thoughts and feelings that had been swirling inside of me for years.  You helped me breathe again.

From there, I learned about our pioneer, Pamela Tsigdinos, and her book Silent Sorority.

Then it just grew.
Klara from The Next 15000 Days
Loribeth at The Road Less Travelled
Mali at No Kidding in NZ
Bent Not Broken
The NotMom

I was not alone!!!  I was not crazy!  I was even entitled to my feelings!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Thank you from the bottom of my broken, healing heart to these pioneering bloggers and their courage and willingness to be vulnerable on the internet. Thank you.

17 comments:

  1. dear Lucia,
    I am honoured to be included in your list.

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  2. You're not alone or crazy and you're most definitely entitled to your feelings! Hello & welcome :)

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    1. Hello! :) Thank you! I found your blog recently and have read every post. I really like your writing!!

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    2. Thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot

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  3. Welcome, Lucia! Delighted you found us. You are among friends. With my comment I bring a virtual hug and a bouquet of empathy and friendship. There are few gifts as powerful as being understood. Look forward to folllowing your blog. xo

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    1. Wow! Thank you!! I am honored. I welcome your virtual hug and bouquet of empathy and friendship. I look forward to writing, reading, and connecting more.

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    2. yes, I agree with Pamela... there are few gifts as powerful as being understood.

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  4. Welcome, Lucia. Klara let me know you were blogging. Although it is sad to have to welcome people to our group, it is always good to see that you have found us, and that you have found a way to share your thoughts. I'm glad if in some small way my blog has helped.

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    1. Thank you Mali! Yes, your blog has helped a lot. I especially appreciated your Gifts of Infertility series. Thank you. <3

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    1. Whoops. I put my reply to Mali in the wrong spot. Still figuring everything out, as I'm sure I will be for awhile haha :)

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  6. I'm so glad that my blog helped you, even if just a little bit. The feeling of community and finally finding "my people" was one of the biggest benefits for me. Just knowing that there were a few other people on this earth who got it made the world feel a little bit smaller. I'm also glad that you started the blog before you had all of your feelings sorted out. I did too, and even still, I often publish a post without much editing because I feel like I'll chicken out on publishing some of the more difficult things.

    Anyway, welcome to the community and blogging world!

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    1. Thank you! Yes, your blogged has definitely helped me. You've addressed some issues with regard to family, and especially sisters, that can be... tricky. Thank you very much!

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    2. Thank you! Yes, your blogged has definitely helped me. You've addressed some issues with regard to family, and especially sisters, that can be... tricky. Thank you very much!

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  7. Flattered to be included on your list! :) and so glad if my blog has helped you in any way. Sending you thanks and a virtual casserole! ;)

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    1. There's my casserole!! :))) Hahaha thank you so much! Thank you for your comment and thank you especially for your blog.

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