Tuesday, October 4, 2016

It's always there.

In an effort to work toward a new career, I've gone back to school. (more on that another day)

Today I was sitting in a meeting where someone was informing us about some upcoming program requirements. The woman was emphasizing how important it is to not make any plans that would interfere with these requirements. You see where this is going? Yep...

The program is female-heavy.  Out of 42 in the class, only 6 are male.  The presenter was saying not to plan any weddings or start a family during this one particular crucial window of the program. She looked out at us students and said, "Well, that doesn't apply to everyone. Not everyone in this room can get pregnant." And everyone laughed. Except me. Instead of laughing I thought to myself, "No, there are at least 7 people in this room who cannot get pregnant."

It didn't make me sad. After so many years, I think I'm tired of being sad. Numb to it. For that I am thankful. But the infertility is always there.  And the fertile world is always quick to remind me.


  1. dear Lucia, how well I know this feeling.... fertile women can so easily make silly jokes like this that everybody laughs... well all except the ones who are hurt.
    warm hugs across the Atlantic!

  2. Always. There are always reminders. I promise you that one day it will be less hard and catch you less off guard.