Last week I had my first clinical rotation. I cannot even begin to describe how awesome it was!! As much as I hate school, I know I am on the right path with my new career. I can barely wait to graduate and get out into the work force.
Oh the work force... I am thankful every day for how far I've come in my recovery from infertility. After the first day of my clinical rotation I came home and told my husband, "I would NOT have been able to do this a year ago."
Dang, people talk about their kids all the time!!!
I was mentally prepared for being around a bunch of women all day and that there would be a lot of conversation centered around their children, but even with my foresight, I was still surprised.
I did fine though. I didn't get sad or depressed. I listened a little and tuned out a little. One woman had just returned from maternity leave. I asked her baby's name, because I've always had an interest in what people name their children. But I was conveniently out of the room when newborn photos were being passed around. (I just stepped outside the room while it was happening and nobody even noticed. Never underestimate the importance of self care! I know newborn pics are still a tough thing for me so I just discreetly stepped out of the room and pretended to be studying my notes in the hallway.)
It wasn't until my second to last day that someone even asked me if I had children. I was asked by an 80 year old woman, a former volunteer who had stopped by to say hello. At first, I thought we were headed toward a train wreck. Then the conversation ended in a surprising way.
Her: Do you have children?
Me: No. (Expressed with no sadness or any other emotion. Simply stated with no further explanation.)
Her: You missed all the good parts!
(pause)
Her: And you missed all the bad parts... Nothing is perfect.
So there you have it, folks! "Nothing is perfect."
Be careful out there in that fertile world. Always take care of yourself.
And remember that you are not alone.
You have a sisterhood that understands you and believes in you as you work toward recovery and creating a new life for yourself that you want to live. 💜
I am so very happy for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I guess I won't drop out of school haha... There is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)
DeleteNicely said!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much!! :)
DeleteThere is so much truth and wisdom in that statement!
ReplyDeleteI agree! It was strange- she almost seemed wistful as she said "And you missed all the bad parts." I don't usually get honesty like that.
DeleteI'm glad you've found your career path - this is SO important. I read on some comments under an article about childlessness that "for some women, lack or loss of a meaningful career can be almost as bad as childlessness-not-by-choice". It stayed with me, and scared me, and I'm trying now to just find a bit of satisfaction in what I do. That's all I want really. I'm glad that woman qualified her statement with the next thing she said - I'd have been ready to bite her head off.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yeah, I don't have a pressing need to do something absolutely wonderful with my life since I can't have kids. I just knew I didn't want to return to my previous career and that I wanted to do something different. Hopefully, I have a long life to live and I want to enjoy it, so I had to figure something out for myself. That lady's initial comment was dumb. But, what can I say, I've heard a lot of things like that... (insert eye roll here)
DeleteThat woman's response was great. People are only too willing to tell us about all the great stuff we've missed out on... or to complain endlessly and tell us how lucky we are that we don't have to deal with this or that. The truth is, we are both.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! There is good and bad to everything. Of course, I would've gladly taken the bad with the good if I could have had children. But, through no fault of my own, it didn't happen for me. I was surprised by that woman's comments. The first sentence I've heard a million times, but her last two sentences were much appreciated.
Delete