Thursday, March 23, 2017
My Survivor Anniversary
Two years ago today my life changed forever.
Two years ago today my final IVF did not result in pregnancy.
Two years ago today I knew it was over.
Two years ago today I lost my children.
Since then I have completely changed my life.
Not, my life has completely changed. That doesn't give me enough credit. Because I had to do it.
I had to do all the work.
I had to climb out of the deep, dark pit I was in.
I had to move out of my children's house, fix it up, put it on the market, and sell it.
I had to find a place to move to, pack up all my stuff, and coordinate the movers.
I had to box up all the stuff in the nursery and put it in storage because I couldn't deal with it yet.
I had to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I decided to change careers.
I had to navigate the school application process, take all the prerequisite courses, arrange my
observation hours, track down letters of recommendation, write an essay, take the GRE.
I had to go back to school: register for classes, buy books, go to class, do homework, study for
tests, meet for group projects, write papers.
I had to let go of relationships that weren't working anymore.
I had to let go of friendships that weren't there anymore.
I had to let go of an old me that didn't exist anymore.
I had to grieve.
It has not been easy.
It has not been fun.
But I did it anyway.
Two years ago I was still living in the house I bought for my children without any direction.
One year ago I was living in a cool little rental property with my former house on the market.
Today I am actively recreating my life with every waking day.
Today I am a survivor.
Today I am free.