Creating a new life is exhausting! It's worth it though. It's already worth it, and it's only going to get better. But right now, my clinical rotation is kicking my butt!!! I feel so in over my head, but every day I learn so much. I don't really like it, but I do appreciate it. I appreciate the learning opportunity and I appreciate my clinical instructor. She is really tough, but she is also nice.
I'm starting to feel a little settled after the move. My apartment is unpacked, organized, and decorated. I have started meal prepping on Sundays, which makes the rest of my week go so much smoother. I'm not doing anything gourmet or anything. I just make a quiche so I have a slice for breakfast every day. Then I choose one thing to eat for lunch every day and make 5 servings of that. Then I make sure I have an easy dinner available. Right now I'm doing pasta, which is basically just boiling water and using a pre-made sauce from a jar. Maybe I'll get fancier after I graduate.
Right now though I am pretty proud of myself. For getting up every day and going into the clinic, knowing that I am going to be overwhelmed and uncomfortable for the next 8 hours. (This is the steepest learning curve of my life!) And also for taking care of myself and eating three meals a day. I don't have a choice about breakfast. I have to eat something that will fuel me through the bulk of my work day. And I definitely work up an appetite for lunch. Then dinner is small but that's okay because I'm also going to bed pretty early these days.
Wow, I am such a party animal right now hahaha.
I knew this period in my life would be very challenging. I knew everything leading up to this period would be very challenging. But I just could not sit all day on my couch and cry (or not cry) all day anymore. I couldn't do nothing, so I had to do something. One little step at a time.
You should totally be proud of yourself! This is huge -- clinical rotation sounds like a marathon, and you are running it! I'm all for going after things in lieu of sitting on the couch and crying (well, going after things after you've done your due diligence in the couch crying phase of things, ha ha). Good luck with the rotation, and congrats on working so hard towards your dreams and making it happen!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jess! <3
DeleteAnd I agree: sitting on the couch and crying is an important part of the process.
Yes, you are so right!! Clinical rotations ARE a marathon. Thank you for giving me that metaphor. I am a quarter of the way through my first one and by the grace of God I will succeed and be of service to my patients.
Oof, I am so tired though... :-D
I love this. Because as you say, there really isn't a choice but to do something, and to live your life. It's never easy to do something that is out of your comfort zone, something that is really hard. But wow, I hope you're feeling empowered by knowing you can find it uncomfortable and still do it well!
ReplyDeleteBrava!
Thanks Mali! You know what, I am feeling pretty proud of myself. I'm not worried that I am so exhausted because I know what I went through previous to this program and I know what this program has required of me. I almost can't believe I'm still standing. In fact, I am kind of amazed at what the human spirit can do...
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