Monday, April 6, 2020

Sometimes Things Suck

This pandemic sucks. It's stressful; it's scary; it has caused massive unemployment, illness, and death; and it has disrupted every aspect of society. I know you already know this. Wherever you are reading this post, the virus is affecting your country, your livelihood, your life.

And I feel like I'm surrounded by people living in alternate realities.

There's my family's world, which is full of funny videos and memes shared over group text.

There's my school district's world, where they think online instruction is actually happening.

There's the people with kids' world, where they are all jokingly yet desperately hopeful that everything will be back to "normal" in time for summer camps.

Then there's my world, where I am mentally preparing for the worst. I cannot sympathize with parents complaining that they are at home with their kids all day. I have no illusion that my students are learning at home under this stress and lack of structure. I am not laughing at anything about this pandemic.

This pandemic drastically changed how we live our daily lives. I am worried. I am angry. I am sad.

And it's not unlike my experience with infertility. My family made light of it while the rest of society just assumed that, since I dreamed of raising children, I'd follow the norm and become a mom eventually, one way or another.

No. Sometimes there is no "normal." Sometimes things just suck.

💜

Thinking of everyone.
Stay safe, stay home.

15 comments:

  1. Sending hugs. Yes, it does suck. And it's okay to feel worried, angry and sad.

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    1. Thanks for the hugs. And thanks for always listening. <3

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  2. I also cannot sympathize with parents complaining that they are at home with their kids all day. I am done listening to them how stressfull home teaching is.

    Stay safe & healthy!

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    1. Agreed! <3

      I'm just so mad that we're doing online school in the first place. This is not a time that is conducive to learning. It's too much for the teachers, the students, and the parents/families. We all have bigger stressors going on right now.

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  3. That’s an apt description of the “different worlds” - I can relate in my own context. Things have definitely been upended. Sending care and hope that you stay safe, too.

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    1. So many people I interact with (family, co-workers, etc.) are living in a different reality than I am... I remind myself to be patient with others, that maybe this is how they are coping.

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  4. Safe Swiss hugs coming your way, too, Phoenix <3!
    Have tried to leave comments several times in the last few weeks and will test now whether it works again...

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    1. Hello Elaine! That's too bad that I've been missing your comments. I checked my spam folder and there's no comments sitting around there. I'm glad this comment of yours came through.

      I'm so glad we can all connect across the world during this global crisis. <3

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  5. Sending you love to battle the suck... It does. It does suck. This new normal of online teaching is... Fascinating. There's so much to let go of, and so much worry and frustration that sticks with you. I am super frustrated work Facebook right now with all the memes and the colors-and-paste things that I can't relate to, and that I feel like are actually design to have people feel either "one of the gang" or horribly Other.

    Anyway, I hear you, I feel you, and I'm sending you a hug as you sit in the suck. ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Thank you Jess. Things are so much better to deal with when I don't feel alone. <3

      Having IEP meetings over conference calls during this global crisis? It's just crazy. I like to talk to my parents about their kids--the growth I've seen, how much I enjoy working with them, but Come On Everybody, let's just take a break. The parents of my students are extremely stressed. And it's not about school. Let district admin get systems in place for online school and we'll all return in the fall. Or summer, whatever works. That's my opinion anyway...

      Yes, this sucks. <3

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  6. Yes, it really does feel like some people are living in alternate universes. I have had parents complaining to me about students not having the chance to earn an A because a professor chose to make a course PDF-Only this semester. And I think, really? There are people going to the hospital and this is what you're focused on? Happily, there are other folks who really do seem focused on helping other people in need, which is what I really hope we carry out through the other side of this experience. <3

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    1. People are allllll over the place right now. But the current events are unprecedented in our lifetimes so it's not like any of us know what we're doing...

      "Helping other people in need" is a good focus. When I feel mad about online school, I remind myself that it's about being there for my students and then I don't feel mad anymore. <3

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  7. Dear Phoenix, I agree with you. I also have the impression that I'm living in an another world than some people around me. In many countries hospitals are totally overwhelmed, a lot of persons fear for their job, many people suffer from complete isolation... and yet I see some other people who feel like they're in holiday, making jokes about the situation.
    Sometimes I feel worried and sad too. But I try to use your "tools" like you said in a previous article. I hope you manage that too <3
    Stay safe and healthy. Sending love, LĂ©a

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    1. Exactly. The different approaches to what's happening right now are such a contrast. It's weird. How do some people seem not concerned?

      I'm using my tools. :) I'm doing a good job of managing most days. I'm safe and healthy. I'm thankful for all of that. <3 Sending love to you too, Lea!

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  8. "Sometimes there is no "normal." Sometimes things just suck."

    Yes! I can't imagine being a parent OR a teacher right now (or a kid trying to keep up with school from home, either, and not being able to see you friends, etc.). I think it's good that people are trying to do put together some kind of lessons to help fill a few hours in kids' days -- but to try to keep up with what they'd normally be doing in a classroom? Not gonna happen. Hang in there!

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