Well. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. It used to be a day that really, really bothered me. In fact, I refused to leave the house. Now we are in a pandemic and I don't leave the house much anyway so that part won't be different.
What is different is how I feel about the day. Honestly? I just don't care. I really don't. I think I'm just tired of society's obsession with putting mothers on a pedestal but not really doing much to actually support them. It's all a bunch of lies, a bunch of fake admiration.
Being a mother is hard. And awesome. I assume. But I wouldn't need a day to celebrate a role I had, a day that I would end up coordinating anyway. I wouldn't need false praise from companies that don't actually provide childcare, flexible work options, or even a decent living wage. It's all pretty infuriating to be honest. I am truly sorry for mothers' hardships, but... They are also not my problems. I had/have other problems.
But I digress...
For years, the day DID bother me. A lot. I wouldn't call my mom. I wouldn't get on social media. I would just order pizza and stay on the couch. And, let's be honest, cry. It's called self-care.
But this year is different. I got a preprinted postcard from the regional food bank in the mail. That's how I realized that Mother's Day was coming up. It was something I could mail to my mom after making a donation in her honor. And my honest-to-goodness first thought was, cool idea!
I did it. I went online, made a donation, filled out the postcard for my mom, and dropped it in the mail. I haven't mailed her a Mother's Day card in yearsss.
But this year I did. I mailed her a card. And I'm kind of excited about it. She and I are getting along lately and I think she'll really like the postcard and the donation made in her name.
Of course, we're still in a pandemic so I'll continue to stay home tomorrow. I also won't spend much time, if any, on social media. If I do, I will scroll past all of the inevitable tribute posts.
If this day bothers you, that's okay. It's a pretty emotionally loaded day. For a lot of reasons.
But it might not always be a debilitating day for you.
I can honestly say I don't pay attention to when it occurs. I don't have to be aware of it like I used to in order to successfully avoid it. It's just not on my radar screen. It doesn't bother me anymore.
I will still probably order a pizza though. Sundays are good for pizza.
Plus, I just really like pizza. :)
It used to be the same for me. Mother's Day very much upset me. This is the second time I actually completely forgot about it. There won't even be a blog post on that topic this year... and I'll have to phone or message my mom tomorrow because I didn't mail a card early enough. I'm happy I don't care anymore. And I'm glad it doesn't bother you anymore either ♡.
ReplyDeleteCheers to our healing!!! :))) I hope my post and your comment can give others still suffering some hope that things won't always feel completely awful.
DeleteThis is awesome, such a beacon of hope for those still in the thick of the muck. I'm so proud of you and your card! And your thoughts on Mother's Day are spot on, that it's all rah rah and buy the things, but there's no true support of motherhood itself.
ReplyDeleteI had pizza last night. Pizza is the best!
I hope you have a wonderful day, beautiful friend.
My mom got her card yesterday and texted me, "I received my mother's day card... perfect!" She still doesn't quite get all of the different ways that infertility has affected me, but I hope she sees my card as evidence of my progress in recovery and healing. She used to get upset that I didn't call her on this day, and this year she received a card. Plus, my parents and I both really value and believe in the food bank's work ($1 = 4 meals!) so I think the donation probably meant a lot to her too.
DeleteIt's about time for me to order pizza... :) I hope you are enjoying your day as well!
I loved this line especially, and I am going to have to try to remember it! "I am truly sorry for mothers' hardships, but... They are also not my problems. I had/have other problems."
ReplyDeleteI called my mom (as usual), but that was about it. Normally I would send her a card, but we've been in lockdown since early April so I couldn't get anywhere near a card store. (I suppose I could have bought one at the supermarket, but dh has been doing all our grocery shopping, and ultimately, I didn't think it was that important...!) I hope you enjoyed your pizza! :)
The day came, the day passed, and the world goes on...
DeleteI'm glad you called your mom. <3 My pizza was fantastic!! :)
Yay you! And yum pizza! I had Thai food. Double yum. lol
ReplyDeleteThe day is pretty irrelevant to me these days - no mother, no mother-in-law, no kids. This year I almost forgot it was Mother's Day. Well, having said that, as I was checking out of a hotel the staff member asked me if I was having a nice Mother's Day. I said, "I'm not a mother," and she apologised. It was funny in some ways, because even when she said it she looked apologetic -as if she didn't want to. I wonder if she'd been told to say it by management?