I will always take certain events and situations into consideration.
My last two posts were about a wedding I went to and a shower I'm going to.
For years, everything stung. Weddings, showers, birthday parties. Every invitation. Every non-invitation (i.e., every time I wasn't invited). Everything hurt. Even (especially?) with the people that I cared about most. I avoided things because it was all I knew to do to protect myself.
Over time, I worked on my life and myself--both of which were empty after years of infertility.
Over time, things changed. Not quickly. It felt more like the pace of the Colorado River carving the Grand Canyon. Very, very slowly. But still, things changed over time.
Remember when I met an unlikely friend?
Maybe that's when the tiniest of monumental changes started.
Maybe that's when the tiniest of monumental changes started.
I'm happy to share I got to see him. His family was on vacation nearby so I met up with them for dinner. It was great to see him and his wife. Their 10-month old is now almost 9 and they have two other kids under 5, so I got to meet them too.
It was really cool. The last time I saw them was 6 years ago. When I met my friend 8 years ago, we both had plans to move. And we did, and here we are. We live several hours apart, but we'll hang out again. He and his family will be back in my area occasionally because it's a nice spot. And my boyfriend and I will be in their area when we visit my boyfriend's family. It'll be nice to see everyone over the years.
I don't have a lot of friends that are currently raising children. However, I have spent time around a couple of friends and their kids twice in the last six months. It's not like how it was. How it used to hurt. It doesn't feel like that anymore. Maybe a part of me will always be sad about not having kids. But not everything is devastating anymore. Not all events and situations are hard or hurtful.
If it's people I really care about and that care about me, I enjoy the moments.
This is so lovely. It does come down to being respected and valued, doesn't it? And what a great visit, that didn't rip your heart out. It's wonderful to move further towards healing and having an ache rather than a disembowelment. 💜
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this: "It's not like how it was. How it used to hurt. It doesn't feel like that anymore. Maybe a part of me will always be sad about not having kids. But not everything is devastating anymore. Not all events and situations are hard or hurtful. "
ReplyDeleteIt is similar for me. It very much depends on the people, too.
I am glad you were able to enjoy the time with your unlikely friend. And I am sure it will give hope to those who still are in the raw stage of grief <3.