Nine years and five days ago I took the plunge and published my first blog post. I had been thinking about blogging for awhile and decided to do it. I was extremely lonely and looking for connection. I hope what I have shared here has helped someone, but I think that what I have received here is exponentially more than what I've given.
Thank you.
I used to be in constant pain. I used to be ashamed and embarrassed. I used to be very angry.
I am no longer in pain. I am no longer ashamed and embarrassed.
I am still angry but it's about other things, not infertility.
This is my life. This is how it's come to be. This is what I've done with the time that was left after my lifelong dream and primal desire went unrealized.
Honestly, I give myself a shit ton of credit. I am very proud of myself.
But I also could not have done it alone.
Thank you.
Once again, I am in the midst of massive changes. I am going through it and will write about it once I get to the other side. All is well; I am just very stressed. But now I can remind myself that I've already been through the worst. What is stress after enduring life-altering trauma?? I got this.
And so do you.
Feel free to read all of my other blogging anniversary posts if you want. They cover a lot. This year's post will be short. We all need to conserve our precious energy. Life isn't easy for anyone.
But we all know how to navigate darkness. We all know how to live life after loss.
Maybe I will blog for another year and close it down on my 10th blogging anniversary.
Maybe I will blog forever.
💜
Do something kind for yourself today. You deserve it.
Happy blogoversary, Phoenix! So glad you picked up that virtual pen, lol. Our community has been richer, having you in it! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you! I cherish my online friendship with you, Loribeth. <3
DeleteI am very glad you published that first post, and then many more. You have been a wonderful addition to the No Kidding community - online and in person. Congratulations on nine years.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sorry to hear of more upheaval. Yes, we know we will be okay, yes we know we can survive change and stress, but it is still hard, and stress still takes its toll. So I am sending love and best wishes, and I hope you are okay in this moment.
Thank you Mali. Thank you so much for so much. <3
DeleteYou are right. Change and stress are still hard, even with experience.
I was very productive today and made myself charge through a list of tasks, none of which I wanted to do. And now they are done. And I feel very satisfied. I like to "frontload" Mondays (as in, get as much done as I can), so then I can slowly decrease my speed over the week. Plus, I have plans for this weekend that I am really looking forward to!
As a side note, I don't think I've actually written many blogoversary posts. I was thinking of my Survivor Anniversary posts, which you can find toward the end of March each year.
ReplyDeleteSending a hug for the current stress and a big congratulations for the milestone. Yes to blogging forever.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mel. I will gladly take that hug. <3
DeleteCongrats! So glad to have met you in this space, and your perspective is insanely valuable. Please don't stop!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jess. I feel the same way about you!!
DeleteCongratulations, dear Phoenix!
ReplyDeleteI am grateful to have "met" you here, as well, so thank YOU :-)!
Wishing you strength and courage for the stress you are going through <3.
Thank you endlessly Elaine. I value our friendship so much.
DeleteCongrats, Phoenix! You are such a strong voice of the life after infertility community, thank you for writing online!
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you as you go through new changes, I wish you all the best <3
Thank you Lea. Something WILL work out. It has to because things are changing no matter what. I appreciate your good thoughts.
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