I love the winding down. Every year I read about the "hustle and bustle" of the holidays, but I haven't experienced that in decades. That's not how I curate this time. I take what I enjoy from these three months and leave the rest.
I try to do as much as possible during the first half of the year so I can do less for the last half.
And we are here! Happy October!! It's pumpkin time, it's spooky season, it's Libra, and then it's Scorpio. It's football season, which I don't particularly care about except I grew up in a sports household so it's part of the seasonal rhythm for me. (As an aside, I'm thinking about getting into hockey. And by that I mean, learn the basics and watch some games. I looked up the season. It just started. There are a lot of games.)
What does any of this have to do with infertility? Not much. And also, everything.
Ten years ago I wrote about Halloween being the hardest day of the year. Then three years ago I wrote about how it had changed. I love this time of year, but I had to reclaim it. I had to let go of how I thought I'd be celebrating these three months. You know, with kids. Instead it's just me. I don't live near family and my boyfriend is not particularly into holidays.
But now I know what's important to me, and now that's what I do. I enjoy the parts I like.
I get excited when I start seeing pumpkins at stores at the end of September. I'll turn on the tv for background noise while football plays on the weekend. I love October, especially when there's a crispness in the air. I enjoy the ambience and decorations everywhere. I love to see people in costume during the day on Halloween. It's hilarious.
Then November comes and I just love it. For so many years now, I've been cooking the big meal. I'm getting to where I prefer a ham over a turkey, but I'm all about the sides. Lately it's just been me and my boyfriend. Sometimes it's us and his son. I love the idea of abundance, the practice of gratitude, and the ritual of leftovers and decorating the tree the next day.
Then I really savor December. It all goes faster every year. I don't even do much, but this year we are going to go see a performance of The Nutcracker. That'll be festive. And all of my Xmas movies are unpacked. I haven't watched those in a couple of years. And I'll have a couple of simple gifts for us to unwrap. And stockings stuffed with candy.
And then...
It's the quietest week of the year. Between Xmas and New Year's, the world actually slows down. I don't have appointments. I don't travel. I take time off work and enjoy a staycation at home.
I love it. I love it so much.
And it all starts now.
