Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Living My Life

(This post was inspired by Mali writing about why she'll never say that she'll never get over it and Elaine and Klara who both wrote about how they are not living their "plan B," they are just living their life.)

I'm learning how to quilt. I don't sew. But I've saved a lot of t-shirts that I wanted to get made into a t-shirt quilt. But as I looked around online at different people who offered this service, the more I realized that I wanted to make my own t-shirt quilt with my old t-shirts. So I decided to learn how to quilt.

Fortunately for me, there's a place nearby that has classes so I've been learning some basics. All of the classes kind of build on each other. Right now I'm learning how to piece so I can make a quilt top.

I'm tired, I'm broke, and I've decided to take quilting classes. And it's one of the best things I could've done. It takes my mind off of everything that is stressing me out. I can get in the flow of ironing, cutting, and sewing fabric. When I'm in my weekly class, I'm around people and learning something new. I enjoy working on my current project and I look forward to seeing and feeling the final product.

The major thing is what I've realized. It's the first time I've done something where I didn't think, "Well, I'm only doing this because I couldn't have children."  That is how I have felt about pretty much everything the last several years. But not this. Not my new hobby. This is something new and fun and exciting and it has nothing to do with anything I've lost. It has nothing to do with anything that didn't work out. It's just something I thought of, looked into, and signed up for.

Like how I used to do before infertility.


  1. Oh, I love love love this! I'm so glad you're enjoying it.

  2. dear Phoenix, your post made me smile. I am happy for you!!

  3. That sounds so freeing! I hope you'll share some of your quilting projects, I think it's such a beautiful craft.

    For me, I sometimes think, "I can do this because I don't have children" or "I'm free to do this because I don't have children," and it's a sort of triumph statement for me. That I can do things that I love, and I have certain benefits, because children didn't work out for us. I don't think of it as an "only," I think of it as an added benefit. I guess it's sort of like when we do something like go to an impromptu dinner out and we toast to no babysitter or something like that.

    I see though how that tarnishes things a bit, how if you are always putting your activities through the lens of "because I don't have children," it keeps you in a certain mindset. And so I am so happy for you that you can be free of that, and make a beautiful quilt of your t-shirt history. <3