10th Blogoversary

I can't believe I have a blog. An anonymous blog where I've written my most personal, most embarrassing feelings. I can't believe I've been sharing honestly in this space for ten whole years. TEN years.

When I started this blog, it had been a year and a half since my last IVF didn't result in pregnancy. I had started a new school program and I absolutely hated it. I thought I had been through so much already. And I had. But I had no idea about what all was still coming.

A couple of years later I graduated and moved out of state like I had planned. My husband did not come like we had planned for the last three years. (I will never understand that.) We got divorced. That wasn't planned. I moved out of the city and into the mountains. I worked full-time as a special education teacher Monday - Friday and part-time at the hospital 45 minutes away on the weekends. That was tough! Then the pandemic came and shut everything down. That was even tougher. Those early months were so uncertain, destabilizing, and terrifying.

I moved again. Got more jobs, quit more jobs, and bought a house and moved again. 

I went back to school. Again.

I moved to another state. Again.

I started another new job. Again.

I bought a house and moved. Again.

Blahhh. So much privilege, so much stress. I'm so exhausted. Are you exhausted?

And that's just the microcosm. I don't even address the macrocosm much on this blog.

We are all exhausted.

I thought I was going to have kids. I thought groceries were going to stay somewhat affordable. 

I thought a lot of things about the future.

And here we are. 

It's good, it's bad, it's ugly. 

I enjoy the good, acknowledge the bad, and do my best to minimize the influence of ugly in my life. I go to work, pay my bills, connect with others, and do my part to make the world a better place. I don't know what else I can do. 

I didn't know what to do when I realized I wasn't going to be a mother in this lifetime, but I figured it out over time. I rediscovered enthusiasm. I explored new avenues to happiness. I found a new hobby. I cultivated contentment and became best friends with myself. 

Ten years of blogging. 

I couldn't have done it without you.

You can purchase that cake topper here where I found the picture.

P.S. I have a lot of favorite posts, but I'd like to highlight this one on this 10th Blogoversary post.
It's about when I started quilting and it had nothing to do with infertility or being childless not by choice. It's from 7.5 years ago, and it's called Living My Life.