Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A Weird Feeling

I'm running late this morning, so of course I'm going to sit down and jot down a quick post. Hahaha. :)

It's still so weird to me that I don't have a kid. It seems like almost everyone my age has one, and I always assumed and planned that I would have at least one. And I don't have any. And, even though I've never had any children in my life, it just seems weird. Almost like something is missing. Even though my life is full. I'm one of those women that feels like I was born to be a mother. Now I am channeling that energy into other avenues and hope to make a difference in the children's lives whom I will work with in the future.

But it's weird to feel like someone's missing when they were never there in the first place.


  1. It is! I've often said that I mourn the loss of something that never was, which is a hard concept for others to understand.

    But yes, I understand this weirdness.

  2. yes, it is weird... but on the other hand, there are so many of us out there with the same feelings, so I guess it is normal.

    Long ago, when reading other blogs, I came across of this poem, written by German-speaking woman, it is so beautiful. I cried when I read it for the first time:

    Du hast kein Gesicht,
    aber Du fehlst mir.
    Du hast keinen Namen,
    aber Du fehlst mir.
    Du bist mir nie begegnet,
    aber Du fehlst mir.
    Je länger Du nicht da bist,
    desto größer wird die Leere in mir.
    Je länger Du nicht da bist,
    desto größer wird die Angst,
    Dich nie im Arm halten zu können,
    Dir nie die Welt zeigen zu können,
    Dir nichts geben zu können außer meiner Tränen.

    You probably don't speak German... but with the help of google translate you can understand a lot. I wanted to show you that also woman all around the world speaking other languages feel the same.

    lots of love from Europe.


  3. Yep. Sometimes it just hits me that, holy cow, this is my life and I don't have any kids and never will. King of like that old cartoon where the woman is going, "Oh no, I forgot to have kids!" I didn't forget, of course ;) but sometimes the realization just HITS you, you know?