Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Facing My Stuff, Part III

Facing my stuff, both literally and metaphorically, has been quite a process.

If you can't go on living the way you've been living but you also can't deal with anything yet, I highly recommend getting a storage unit if you are able. Just throw all of your stuff in there, lock it up, and come back to it later. Even if the unit costs $100 a month, that's $1,200 a year that you are investing in your mental health and emotional well-being. In my humble opinion, it is money well spent.

I first wrote about visiting my storage unit here. Then I wrote again about visiting it here.
Like I said, it has been a process.

This past weekend, drum roll please... I moved out of my storage unit! Of course, now that means everything is stacked up in every room in our rental house, but that is fine. We have pathways carved out so we can move from room to room. And I am slowly, but surely (but not too slowly because I only have two weeks) working my way through the remainder of my stuff, deciding what to keep and what to give away.

It's interesting how I absolutely could not deal with any of my stuff three years ago. And now I can. It is no longer an intense emotional experience. I still feel things, but I can deal with it. I've worked hard on my new plan. I am closer than ever to my new career and my new location, and now I can picture my new apartment. It makes it so much easier to go through my stuff when there aren't tears constantly streaming down my face.

Literally and metaphorically, I can see so much clearer now.


13 comments:

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    1. Thank you! It makes me happy to share good news! So thank you for reading!! <3

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  2. I am so glad. This is such a message of hope. Brava!

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    1. That feels nice. I did not know this was a hopeful post. And here I thought hope was dead... Lol. Sorry about the dark humor--infertility had a way of changing a lot of words and ideas for me. ;)

      But seriously, thank you Mali! I haven't gotten this far by myself. <3

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    2. It may not feel hopeful, but it is. It shows your progress, it shows your strength, and it shows it can be done. For anyone at the beginning of No Kiddingness, this gives hope.

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    3. Well thank you. I am humbled. That would be awesome if I could show even one person suffering that it is possible to feel alive again.

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    4. I pretty much guarantee you have.

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  3. Dear Phoenix, it is wonderful to read so much good news from you lately. Imagine a girl you've never met sitting on a sofa thousands of miles away from you grinning and being very happy about this... :-) I love how you've come through all the difficult years and this horrible semester at school... it wasn't easy but WOW! Here you are ☆☆☆

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    1. Aww that made me smile!! Thank you so much for being happy for me. <3

      Seriously! Look how far we've come! Here we are. :) And it is good.

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  4. I have often found, when it comes to decluttering & going through stuff, that sometimes I have to look at something more than once (or twice, or three times...) before I am finally ready to part with it. For example, I kept all of my maternity clothes for almost 18 years (!!) after our daughter was stillborn, before I finally felt ready to send some of them to Goodwill, before we moved. I still kept a few special things, but most of it went out the door. All in due time, right? I hope you are proud of what you've been able to accomplish!

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    1. Thank you. Yes, all in due time. There is no set timeline, there is no deadline, there is no need to rush.

      I haven't tackled my childhood keepsakes yet. That's going to be tough. I've been saving stuff to show my kids since I was a kid. But I really don't want to lug around all this stuff for the rest of my life. So that's what I will do this week: go through them all, enjoy my happy memories, and then trash, recycle, and give away a lot of it. My goal is to reduce it all by at least half. My friend had a good idea: if there's something that's really meaningful for me, but I don't necessarily need or want it anymore, take a picture of it. So I may reduce my keepsakes to a photo album of keepsakes. Haha that may be kind of silly but I don't care. Special items help me remember good memories and a photo album full of pictures of keepsakes would take up a lot less space! :)

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  5. Woo hoo! That's a huge accomplishment. It's amazing how the "stuff" can grow so heavy, but dealing with it over time (and bit by bit) can totally make it more manageable. You have accomplished so much this spring! :)

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    1. Wow. You're right, I have. No wonder why I'm so exhausted. I've just been putting one foot in front of the other and haven't really had time to step back and look at the big picture. It often takes a friend to point out what all we have accomplished. Thank you Jess. It has been quite a year for both of us!! <3

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