Thursday, July 26, 2018

Pregnancy & Parenting Chatter

I'm back in the workforce as I complete my clinical rotations. It seems like everyone assumes everyone is fertile and that assumption is getting on my nerves. This week alone:

  • A patient said to me, "You'll understand when you have children," talking about how I will inevitably put everyone else's needs first when I inevitably get pregnant and have kids.

  • Another patient, upon learning about my pediatrics rotation in the fall said, "Oh, well that will cure you from wanting children." Okay... Says the lady whose daughter comes to the hospital to see her every day...

  • A co-worker's daughter got her license. She said, "I can't believe I have a driver." And another co-worker said, "It all happens so fast. Soon she'll be graduating high school and then she'll be moving out of your house..." And they commiserated on how sad it is. All while I'm thinking about my children that I'll never get to see drive, graduate, or move out.

  • Another co-worker is pregnant. I worked with her today. She is obviously pregnant and mentioned her pregnancy about three times in the half hour I worked with her. I get that pregnancy is what's going on in her life, but geez...

  • I sat through lunch today while a co-worker talked to the pregnant co-worker all about her own pregnancies and what to expect in the ninth month. Thankfully another co-worker sat next to me, not knowing my pain/annoyance, and just started talking to me which drowned out the other conversation.

I know, I know. People talk about pregnancy and their kids. People everywhere get pregnant/have kids. People at work get pregnant/have kids.  Everyone at work assumes I will get pregnant/have kids. Everyone at work assumes I *can* get pregnant/have kids. 

Ugh. I get it. But it's still an annoying and irrelevant topic for me.

Pregnancy, child raising, and other noise... Blah blah blah.

6 comments:

  1. Dear Phoenix, you made a very good point: I am also annoyed by people who imply that it is an evidence that everybody can have and wants to have children! Now I don't hesitate to reply to them because I'm tired of keeping silent. I did this with a colleague lately. But I guess this is not so easy with your patients... I hope you can manage these sentences without getting too hurt. xo

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    1. Yeah, I've just got to let it go with my patients. They are dealing with too much already to receive an unsolicited (though needed) teaching moment from me regarding pronatalism and infertility.

      Coworkers are another thing. I'm here temporarily on a clinical rotation so I'm not saying much. But once I get a job... I'm going to at least have to find a safe space to eat my lunch in peace.

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  2. Blah blah blah indeed. Good grief, you had quite a week!

    I was going to say that I could put different interpretations on some of the comments, and you've given me an idea for a post. Time gives me a distance that allows me to do that. The comments don't hurt as much - they don't feel as personal. I'm 100% sure you'll get there too.

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    1. I think I'm getting there, little by little. Years ago I would've cried, either at home or in the bathroom at work. Just last year I probably would've felt angry. By now, I just thought: dang, these comments are everywhere... I'm gonna blog about this. :)

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  3. Yep, here's my post. Thanks for the inspiration! https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2018/07/some-of-those-comments-reinterpreted.html

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    1. Oh cool! I look forward to hopping over and reading this. I've been away from the internet for the weekend, so I've got some catching up to do...

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