Saturday, January 18, 2020

Skipped a Work Shower

Going back to teaching, I was surprised to not encounter anything pregnancy-related first semester. Schools always seem to be full of pregnant staff members and pregnant parents. But the majority of my co-workers are very young and not yet thinking about raising children at all.

I'm not going to lie: it has been refreshing. No questions, no comments, no stories dominating our thirty minute respite period, a.k.a. our lunch time. ;)

However, I came back to work from winter break to read a rather presumptive email. The director of my district's department emailed everyone informing us of a baby shower she was throwing for someone who works for the district. The director told us when it would be, where it would be, and what we all could bring (a small gift or $10 to contribute, she was bringing cake and snacks). The way she wrote it, attendance sounded mandatory. What the hell?? I do not go to baby showers. (Well, unless I'm throwing the shower haha.) I stressed about this email, what to do, and how to respond until I saw my department chair.

Thankfully, my department chair shot the idea down. I asked him about it and he immediately said, "Oh, I am not going to that." I said, "Really? What did you write back?" He said, "I didn't write anything. I'm just not going."

So I followed his lead. I didn't write back. I didn't go. Nothing was ever said and life went on.

I think I often feel like everything needs a reply. I learned an important lesson with this experience. I don't have to respond to everything. I can just let some things go.


  1. Sadly, it's so easy for men to do this, and harder for us to realise we can. I'm glad life went on and it was no big deal. Hopefully it will be easier for you next time too.

  2. Yes, I am also still learning this: letting some things go.

  3. Agree with Mali. Though I'm making it a personal resolve to act more like a man in 2020. I'm glad you're letting it go.

  4. That's cool! I am glad it turned out to be that simple. But I also share the opinion of Mali and Risa: this is easier for men for sure!

  5. Agreed, men don't agonize over stuff like this, do they?? I never had the guts to skip out totally... but I usually just made an appearance (around the time the cake was being served, lol) & then ducked out to attend to an "urgent" phone call or errand. ;) Glad things worked out for you! ;)

  6. Dear Phoenix, I'm glad you skipped this baby shower! I think that as long as you are doing your actual job, it is perfectly ok. Your job description certainly does not include attending the baby shower of somebody you don't even know ;-)