I'm. Not. Moving!!! My boyfriend reminded me of this today as we were not packing. ;)
I have moved five times in the last six years. Moving is hard. In so many indescribable ways.
In the spring of 2016, I moved out of the house I bought for my children and put it on the market.
My husband and I moved into an overpriced rental house back in the city where I never wanted to live again in order to shorten my commute to school. I made the best of it and, despite my grief and a terrible graduate program, I even managed to enjoy myself.
In 2018 I moved out of state into an overpriced apartment in yet another city. Even though this out-of-state move had been jointly planned and excitedly anticipated for three whole years, my husband did not move with me. He said he was going to and I thought he was going to, but he never even looked for a job. There were other contributing factors as well, and we got divorced.
In 2019 I moved out of the city (yay!) and into an overpriced condo in a traffic-ridden tourist town.
In 2020 I moved with my boyfriend during the pandemic to a small town in the middle of nowhere into a dingy rental house with a questionable history. At least it wasn't overpriced.
In 2021 we bought a house (yay!!!) and moved one street over. His kids are grown and I'm not having any (maybe you've heard? lol) and our home is absolutely perfect for the two of us.
Now it's 2022 and I'm. Not. Moving!!! :)
(Full disclosure: I still have a storage unit back in the city, so I technically have one more move left. But hey, I WILL move out of there this summer. Or this fall at the latest. I promise myself.)
With each move, I felt like giving up every step of the way.
I could have stayed in the house I bought for my children. It was beautiful. My best friend lived nearby. There were restaurants I liked and it was near a park where I walked every week.
But I couldn't. I couldn't stay in my children's house. I couldn't stay in the city. I couldn't stay in the state. I couldn't stay in the next city. I couldn't stay in the next place. I had to keep going. I had to create a life I WANTED to live. I had to find myself a home.
And now I'm here. I've been here. It will be a year in our house in less than two months.
I am not packing.
I am not looking for housing.
I am not changing my address.
I am not closing and opening utility accounts.
I'm staying right here.
Home.
Dear Phoenix,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are not moving :-).
And I am glad you are creating the life you want to live.
It doesn't sound easy. So much hard work! It sounds like you are finally getting some rest though, at least by not moving ;-). That's good.
Summery greetings from Switzerland!
Thank you!!! I feel this need for someone to understand how monumental this is, so I really appreciate your comment. Thank you, friend.
DeleteYes, I am finally getting some rest. As you know, I took some time off after quitting my last (toxic!!) job. I feel better, like my body has calmed down some on a physiological level. After ten years of infertility, divorce, and moving, my nerves were shot!
I can only imagine what it will be like not moving... I mean, I'm still surrounded by boxes because we are still redoing some things in our house and there's nowhere to put our stuff.
But I did it. I'm home! But I didn't do it alone. I did it with the love, understanding, and support from my online friends here. <3
<3
DeleteHow lovely! I've never moved that frequently, so can't quite imagine how wonderful it is to feel settled. (We've been in this house for ... gulp ... 29 years this month. We bought it thinking it was a 5-8 year home! I might have to blog about that.) But my sister-in-law, who has lived the multiple-posting expat life, once said she wanted to downsize all her stuff so that she could move just with a couple of suitcases! She was REALLY sick of moving, lol!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're not moving, and that you're finally HOME.
Thank you for your kind words. Moving is tough. I've unpacked less and less each time. As soon as we get flooring put in our bedroom (hopefully this summer!), we will really be able to get sorted and settled. I can't wait!!
DeleteOoops - I think that previous post was anonymous. It was only me, Mali!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, thank you Mali! Always good to hear from you! <3
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