A Happy Update

Healing can happen in all sorts of ways.

I had a really good friend for many years. Our parents know each other. We went to school together. We have history. I've written about her before. She's the one whose daughter was very special to me. I went to every birthday party until I didn't. She also really hurt my feelings. I don't usually write about things until long after they've happened. Those posts are over five years old. When they happened is even longer ago than that.

Like I said, we have history together. So even though I felt like the friendship had ended, it hadn't totally. She still texted me once or twice a year and I always replied. She always remembered my birthday. I always remembered hers. She texted me a really cute picture when her daughter went to her first school dance. It meant a lot to me.

Well, last week I remembered something funny her daughter said when she was a toddler, and so I texted it to my old friend. She replied and we had a nice exchange. 

I'm not hurt anymore. I understand the birthday party that I wasn't invited to... It wasn't anything personal. I know the comments she made that hurt my feelings were coming from her own struggles at the time. I empathize with both of our past selves; we were hurting in our own ways. I was going through infertility and her (now ex-) husband was making life difficult. 

But, that is all in the past. Current me doesn't care about all of that anymore. Here is a woman who texts me on my birthday every year. We are adults. Our birthdays aren't the big deal that they were when we were kids. And still, she remembers it. I like that.

So like I said, I texted her the other day and we had a nice exchange. I told her about my going back to school, and she told me about her recent promotion. It just felt good. 

I invited her out to where I live. (It's a great destination for a vacation. Out of the city. Beautiful country.) I said she, her daughter, and her new husband could stay with me. Or they could stay in the resort town an hour away. Either way, it would be a good trip. She said she's going to plan for it next year or for the year after that. 

It felt really good.

Not only was I not hurt and angry, I was just enjoying texting with my friend.

My good, longtime friend. 

Maybe we haven't been in touch as much. Maybe we've missed some major moments. But that's okay. That's life and that's adult friendship, especially when you live 1200 miles apart. 

I'm happy she's still in my life. I'm extremely grateful for healing.