It's been a bit overwhelming to unpack everything. Unpacking is so... Literal.
I started packing in December 2015. I've written about it several times. Got a storage unit in 2016 and sold the house I bought for my children. Moved 1,000 miles in 2018 and moved everything from storage in one state to storage in another. Finally moved out of storage this past August. Grateful and relieved.
I unpacked about 50 boxes of books alone, about half of which were children's books. I used to teach, and I always planned on having children so every book I bought was an investment. Or so I thought.
I had accepted the fact that I wasn't having kids. And I had accepted the fact that I left the profession of teaching. Next, I had to accept the fact that I was not going to buy a van or camper and turn it into a mobile library. With peace in my heart, I donated the majority of my books.
My keepsakes weren't so hard to go through. It was kind of fun, and I kept some stuff. I have a little bit of storage space here at my house. Now I know where I am going to be. Now I know what I have room to keep, and now I know what I can give or throw away.
I still have 5 - 8 onesies though. I keep moving them from one spot to another. I guess I'm holding on to them in case someone close to me gets pregnant, but I'm not sure how much longer I will hang on to them. Either way is fine.
The whole thing has been a process. Packing. Moving into storage. Moving storage units across state lines. Moving out of storage. Unpacking. It was worth it though. It was a lot easier to let go of certain things in 2022 than it would have been in 2015.
When you planned on having kids your whole life, recovering from not having kids takes time. It takes work too. We don't heal without feeling our feelings. We don't recover without doing things differently.
Do what you can. One step at a time. Make things easier on yourself if you can. If you can dump all of your stuff in storage and deal with it later, just do that. You can take care of your stuff later.
Just take care of you for now.
*****
And now for some pictures that are not exactly thrilling but signify accomplishment for me...
but I'm pretty excited about this fabric panel I bought for myself for my birthday.
It took us every version of ourselves to learn what we did and get where we are. 💜
One step at a time. Yes, it is a good strategy.
ReplyDeleteI loved that you could buy the candy and pass them to the kids. I managed that for the very first time to do aprox 5 years ago, not before.
(but for us in Europe, it is for the carneval in February when kids go door to door).
Happy weekend!
much love from Europe.
Klara
One step at a time is how things get done. Thinking about everything all at once can be paralyzing.
DeleteI actually had fun passing out candy. I love candy, so it makes sense to give it away for free to kids once a year haha.
And now we are moving toward my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving. I love food and gratitude!
Enjoy your weekend!! <3
Love this post so much -- both the literal and figurative meaning. I have gone through similar rounds of de-contenting and donation as various chapters closed and moves ensued. It's always fascinating to see what stays and what goes and how our lives -- and consciousness -- stitch together different dimensions of our identities and dreams. Can so relate to the salute to the different versions of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteSo honored to be able to witness and revel in your evolution and growth. Well done, my friend...
Oh I like that you said "stitch"!! :) So many metaphors in unpacking and sewing. So many!
DeleteThank you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being self-involved by blogging. Then I think about myself before I started blogging and how I needed someone, anyone to light the way. I needed to know it got better for some people even though I had no hope that it would ever get better for me.
So, thank YOU!! For lighting a path for us. <3
Love that last image from SelfLoveRainbow. Yes. You know, keep those things as long as they serve you! I am down to a tub in the attic that has some remaining baby stuff, and there are onesies I just don't want to part with yet, too. They'll make their way somewhere meaningful at some point. No rush. You did AWESOME with packing into tubs and unpacking and getting rid of things! Sometimes just having neatly organized tubs is an amazing accomplishment. And your Halloween candy festooned with snowmen! Hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteHahaha it looked really weird having a Halloween bowl full of red and green packaged candy! It was a last minute decision to pass out candy. I'll prepare a little more ahead of time next year!
DeleteMy onesies are band onesies, mostly punk bands. I'd love to find a mom-to-be who will appreciate them. <3
OMG, what a huge job, Phoenix! That's a lot of unpacking -- of boxes, and your emotions/psyche too. I'll bet it's a huge relief to have done all that. And I'm glad you enjoyed Halloween this year too!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It feels great!!
DeleteGood grief, I've had this tab opened for days and days, and never got around to responding. Sorry! Well done on the unpacking. Time really does help when there are things to let go. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHahaha :)
DeleteThis already feels so long ago, and it was only two weeks ago. Time is crazy! It's so slow some years and so fast for others.
I'm thankful to be unpacked and home. <3