Halloween & My Blogoversary

I can barely believe six years have passed since I started writing this blog. There's some really honest stuff in here, some of it embarrassing even, but damn did I need this space. 

So much has changed.

Halloween used to be the hardest day of the year for me. I wrote about it six years ago. Then, just one year after that, I wrote about how it wasn't as hard. It had changed a lot. In just a year.

And now it's been six years since I started writing. 

So much more has changed.

It's been seven and a half years since I stopped fertility treatments. Seven and a half years of knowing IVF doesn't work for me. Seven and a half years of getting used to the idea that I wouldn't be raising children after thirty-five years of thinking otherwise. Seven and a half years of working hard to create a new life for myself.

And I'm calling it.

I did it. 

I created a life I want to live.

Like I wrote in my last post: I like my home, I like what I do for work, and I like what I do for fun. If I won the lottery (which is unlikely since I don't play, haha), I wouldn't change a thing. 

As I reflect on six years of writing my innermost thoughts and feelings on the internet, I can't believe I did it. Both things. I can't believe I wrote all of it down publicly, and I can't believe I created a new life that I can enjoy.

I've come a long way.

I don't really identify as infertile anymore. 

I just identify as childless not by choice. 

I'm not going to change my blog name, and I'm not going to stop writing. I still have things to write about. I'm still living a childless life and I'm still trying to understand how it affects everything. I still want to connect with other women like me. 

Thank you.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for being a part of my healing process.

(I found this image online by searching for "purple quilted heart."

Turns out, it's a quilt kit! You can purchase it here.)