Wednesday, October 30, 2019

TWO Announcements Today

Today was unexpected. As the title of this post suggests... I'll just jump right into it.

I went to work today. It's been tough lately. It is hard to be a teacher. I'm thankful that I like my students and I like my co-workers and I like the building where I work. But it's still hard. Everyone on my team is struggling with this batch of middle schoolers. They don't take initiative and they have no work ethic. It is obvious to all of us that their elementary education was... less than stellar.

Anyway, so we are all trying our best to teach these kids and it is taking everything we have to combat the academic apathy that is rampant in this community.

Today I went into one of the classes because EVERY SINGLE ONE of my students is failing this core class. I will be in that class period for the rest of the semester, helping to re-teach and support my students so hopefully everyone can pull off a passing grade. I'm talking with the classroom teacher of that course. He and I moved here from the same previous state and we can really relate to how different it is here compared to where we came from. And... He just can't contain his excitement. (He's not even what I would describe as an excitable guy.) He tells me, "We found out yesterday that my wife is pregnant! Please don't say anything; we haven't even told our families yet. But you are one of two people that I trust here."

First of all, Wow. He trusts me that much with such an important piece of news. <3

Second of all, Wow. Hearing his news didn't make me flinch. It didn't even sting. At all. I immediately congratulated him and it felt so good to be so genuine in my happiness for him.

Wow.

Then... (Yes, I've already given it away with the title of this post.) I'm texting with my best friend from college. She and I used to talk every day but marriage and careers kinda got in the way of that. Then she had two children while I was going through infertility and unsuccessful fertility treatments. There weren't ever any hurt words said, but we just naturally gave each other space. But we never completely lost touch. So, I'm texting with her today and she tells me that she's pregnant. I read the text and my jaw literally dropped. Again, all I felt was genuine happiness for her. (And, to be quite honest, I was glad it wasn't me... I have no desire to start all of that at this stage of my life.)

WOW.

If you would've told me five years ago that, five years from now, I would hear TWO different pregnancy announcements in one day and not feel a drop of sadness there is NO WAY I would've believed you. Yes, I believe in miracles (just not miracle babies).

WOW.

But wait! There's more!

Tomorrow is Halloween. I already wrote about my feelings on Halloween three years ago. But a co-worker invited me to her house to pass out candy tomorrow evening. Three years ago that would've been a strong Hell No but... Now it is three years later. Like I've written, I now live in a small town and my co-worker says Halloween is really special here, that it's like a movie or something from the past like our childhoods. And you know what? I am totally up for it. I love this co-worker and I'm needing some cheer in my life. (I'm going through yet another rough patch which I will write about later). I am gonna do it! I am gonna celebrate Halloween tomorrow. I am gonna see adorable kids in costumes, pass out candy with my co-worker, and enjoy the festiveness that I could not bear for so many years. It was fine that I avoided this holiday for so long and it is a miracle that I have an interest in it now.

WOW.

9 comments:

  1. Dear Phoenix, this brought happy tears to my eyes. WOW indeed. This is quite amazing. I am sorry about the rough patch though and am sending a big hug across the Atlantic!

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    1. Oh... Life... It goes up, it goes down, it goes up again... Eventually, right? ;)

      But yeah, that was pretty unbelievable hearing two pregnancy announcements, not getting sad, and then passing out candy at Halloween. It's all something I definitely would not have bet money on ever happening!! But it did. <3

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  2. dear Phoenix, I am so happy for you! Enjoy the Halloween!

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  3. That was a worthy Six Wows post! I'm so glad you were able to experience these announcements - a little out of the blue too - without pain. And I hope you had a great halloween. It reminded me of when I felt that I had reclaimed Christmas, finding the joy in it again. Let us know how it went, won't you?

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    1. It shows me that I am in a different place now. It's been awhile since I've wanted to be pregnant. And I may always be sad about not getting to raise my kids. But that doesn't mean I want to be pregnant NOW. That time has passed for me. Thankfully...

      Yes! I love that. I reclaimed Halloween! I don't know if I'll pass out candy next year or ever again, but I thoroughly enjoyed doing so this year. Like I said, it's a small town so I ended up giving candy to a lot of my students. And they were very surprised to see me (especially in my regular clothes, not what I wear to work every day haha) which was really fun. The costumes were cute and amazing and it just felt so wholesome, fun, and good. <3

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    2. I am so glad you were able to handle a double whammy like that!! And so glad to read that you had fun on Halloween! :)

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  4. Congratulations, that's huge! It's so wonderful when you can weather things that would have been disastrous BEFORE, and now barely register. WOW is right!

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    1. It's almost unbelievable, isn't it? Events that would've sent me to bed for days in the past don't hurt now. Weird. And, honestly, shocking. But I'll take it!

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