I may be happy, but I still get angry.
Like at last night's meeting.
I wanted to throw things.
It was a meeting for my profession's organization. It was virtual because all of us live across the state. We were meeting about possibly drafting a bill for the next legislative session. We were discussing logistics like statistics and stakeholders when someone brought up a good point about having a consumer on our task force to help guide our thinking.
But it was what was said next that pissed. me. off.
One woman said, "Do we have anyone on board that this legislation will help? Do we have any healthcare consumers that can't currently access these services? Ooh, do we have a mother that we can invite to join our group? A mother always looks good."
😑 😑 😑
Really?
A mother?
Dammit, I was so pissed. That woman's idea just landed so hard and with a thud. I hated it.
Of course, she would suggest a mother. Someone with kids. Someone Important.
Someone who is Worth Helping, whose life has Meaning and Purpose.
WTF?!?
I immediately wanted to leave the meeting. Just sign off without saying anything. But I didn't. I reminded myself that this woman has rubbed me the wrong way a couple of times over the years. I told myself that the meeting wasn't about this woman or even pronatalism and tried to stick to the topic at hand.
I'm glad I stayed. It was a productive meeting. Issues were discussed. People picked tasks to do. And we will reconvene in two weeks.
But yeah. I was pissed. It's not just that one little comment but a lifetime of them. They all convey the message that my life is less important, and I am tired of this inaccurate sentiment.
The world should feel more inclusive for us.
Ugghhhhhhh. I hate that loudly unspoken assumption in that woman's comment... People care about mothers. They are more credible, more sympathetic. Gross. That would have made me mad, too.
ReplyDeletePeople reveal so much about themselves when they say these sorts of things. I've met her several times over the years and she never remembers. She's never even been friendly. Totally weird. I'll just give her a wide berth from now on.
DeleteGrrrr. Yes. Annoying people will be annoying! And it does say a lot about her, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteYou know, if I had been a mother, I think I would still have found that statement annoying. Because being lumped in as "a mother" rather than being seen as all the components of who I was/would have been would have driven me crazy. And many of my mother friends too. Argh.
That's a good point. Maybe there was someone else in the meeting that also found that comment annoying. Maybe they were a mother; maybe they were not. My boyfriend has a kid and he is the first person to get annoyed by parent-centric thinking.
Delete"It's not just that one little comment but a lifetime of them. They all convey the message that my life is less important, and I am tired of this inaccurate sentiment." – I get that. I feel the same way. So I'm sorry. I do like the poster you added at the end though :-).
ReplyDeleteMuch love and happy Sunday!
Some days it bothers me more than others. Her comment was, to me, so out of nowhere... It just stood out to me as really, really annoying. I think it's because it's not just that one comment but all of them over a lifetime. Sometimes I don't care, and sometimes I get really annoyed.
Delete